


Mute

by MercyChild



Series: Silence [1]
Category: Adam Lambert (Musician), Sauli Koskinen RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-18
Updated: 2016-11-24
Packaged: 2018-04-26 20:58:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 19
Words: 27,836
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5020312
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MercyChild/pseuds/MercyChild
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>(The second book in the series Silence)</p><p> </p><p>     Sauli Koskinen couldn't ask for a better life. He works as a Detective by day and night, while taking care of his brother Karani, "The Replacement Child." The only thing he's missing is love. For ten years, he's pushed away all thoughts about his past, assuming the love of his life is dead. He's moved on. They say curiosity kills the cat, but what happens when that cat doesn't die? </p><p>      Adam Lambert is what some may describe, a man-eater. Classy in the streets but a freak in the sheets. By day, he's a well-known singer and by night, he's back to being everyone's favorite prostitute. And he won't stop this time. When Sauli is given the biggest case of his life, he's eager to take it. Until he finds out that his assumed to be dead lover is behind everything. </p><p>    Sauli is determinded to dig deep once again and try to mend Adam's broken soul, bring him back to what he once was, but what happens when Adam doesn't want to be fixed?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. One

He pulled up next to the Greensville Hospital in Helsinki, Finland and slowly gets out of the car. He clenches his hands into fists, then unclenches them as he walks into the hospital doors. The smell of medicine and death consumes his nostrils. God, he hates hospitals.

     “May I help you, officer?” A young woman sitting at a desk asks in Finnish. 

    “Yes, I’m looking for Julia Koskinen’s room.” He answered nervously. 

   “Room 149.” She tells him. Sauli nods in thanks and slowly makes his way to her room. Karani is sitting in a chair by her bed, but Sauli doesn’t enter the room.

   “Karani,” he calls from the doorway. “Time to go.” Karani looks up at his older brother.

   “Is that Sauli?” A hoarse whisper escapes Julia’s throat.

    “Yes mother.” Karani answers.

    “Karani, let's go.” Sauli said lowly.

    “Sauli, she’s _dying_. Please.” He pleaded. Sauli raised his eyes to the ceiling and shook his head.

   “Come here, Sauli.” Julia says. He fights the urge to snort.

    “No.”

    "Sauli!” Karani says. “She’s dying. _Please._ Don't be like this. Not today.” Sauli glared at his brother. Karani got up and slowly pulled Sauli into the room, while Sauli resisted multiple times. Julia opens her eyes.

    “And there he is. My first born. The love of my life—”

   “Don’t.” He says through clenched teeth, his eyes closed. “Don’t you dare say that to my face. I haven’t forgotten what you’ve done.”

    “Neither have I.” Julia says. “It haunts me to the very core. I can still see the frightened little 18 year old boy in your face. Except your eyes…they have changed. What happened?”

    “I had surgery.”

   “Oh yes. I remember now. What color is your eye? I can’t see it from here.”

 “It’s still the same color.” He answered; his words clipped and short.

  “You look different.”

    Its true. His cheekbones had sharpened, his skin is tan, he’s muscular, and his blond hair had gotten lighter. He had gotten taller, although not by much, and now he was in the FBI, still living in LA with his brother—the replacement child of Sauli—when he had left home. The only reason he's back is to pick up his brother. "I haven't seen you in ten years." 

    "I wonder why." 

    His phone rang.

     “Sauli? You need to come back. We’ve got a case. A girl that’s been missing for six months has been found alive and alone in a house in West Hollywood. We need to go now before her captor comes back.” Sauli’s partner in the police force—Douglass—said. Sauli’s eyes widened.

    “I’m on my way.” He hung up.

    “Karani, we need to go. I have to get back; I have a case I need to handle right now.”

     “Sauli wait—”

    “No, we can’t. We need to go now before it’s too late.” He grabbed Karani’s and made it halfway around the bed when a familiar bony hand grabbed Sauli’s wrist. He immediately shut down, freezing in his place.

    Julia had his wrist in her hand.

    _Julia had his wrist in her hand_.

    He hissed like she electrocuted him and jerked his wrist away. “Sauli!” She called hoarsely. Sauli shook his head violently and ran out of the building and out to the car, letting go of Karani’s hand.

   "She touched me. She touched me.” He mumbled quickly and furiously. He sanitized his wrist, clawing at the skin, trying to get rid of the feeling of her skin on his. Flashbacks scanned his brain. That frightened boy is back. He slammed his hand down on the steering wheel.

    “Enough!” He screamed at himself. The visions suddenly stopped, the memories faded and he slowly felt himself coming back down to reality. He took a calming breath, pushing back his hair from his face with trembling hands. He felt something moist on his face and he wiped his face and looked at his hand. Sauli didn’t know he was crying.

    Without turning around to look at Karani, Sauli started the car and started driving straight home. “She’s dead.” Karani says flatly after a long silence. “Mother is dead, and you didn’t say goodbye. She wanted to hold your hand before she went, but you ran out of the room, leaving her to die with her hand still extended.”

    “Then why didn’t you take it?” Sauli’s voice was still low.

   “Because she wanted _your_ hand. Not mine.”

   “Well Karani, if you went what I went through, you’d see why I left. Besides, it was for the best. Even if I did stay, I wouldn’t have taken her hand.”

     “You don’t mean that.”

   “The hell I don’t. She used to beat me until I was half dead. You don’t remember because you weren’t even a thought back then.”

   “I remember everything, Sauli.” Karani says, looking down. I know what she has done.”

    “You have no idea what she did.” Sauli muttered under his breath. “And you won’t understand.”

    “No, I don’t.” Karani says stiffly. “I’m not _Adam_.”

    If Sauli wasn’t focused on the road, he would’ve turned around and stared at Karani with pure hatred. One thing that Karani was forbidden to mention was Sauli’s past lover. He hadn’t heard the name Adam in how many years? Sauli thought back.

   10 years. That’s how long it’s been. And Karani’s right—he’s _not_ Adam. Adam and Karani are complete opposites. And another difference between the two was that Karani was still alive.

   “No, you’re not.” Sauli agreed coldly. “You’re just a replacement child.” That shut Karani up. Sauli pushed all thoughts of Adam to the back of his mind and pulled up to the station a few minutes later. “Stay in the front room of the station. Doug and I will be back soon.” He said, getting out of the car. Doug is already waiting for him at the police cruiser and hands him his gun.

    “Ready?” He asks. Sauli slightly smirks.

    “Living the dream.” They were able to track the location of the call, which wasn’t far from the victim’s captivity. The rest of the FBI squad drove behind Doug and Sauli.

   “How are you doing? With your nightmares?” Doug asks after a moment.

   “I’m okay. I still get them frequently, and I’ll wake up screaming, but it’ll pass.”

   “Is she gone?” He asked. Sauli nodded, keeping his eyes on the road.

   “I’m sorry, Sauli. I mean, I know you despised her, but still…” Sauli nodded again.

   “Thanks Doug.” They drove the rest of the way in silence. When they first arrived at the house, Sauli was unsure. The house was really nice, decorated and designed with things that just screamed family friendly. But no one plans a murder out loud.

   Sauli and Doug got out of the car and ran up the steps and drew their guns. A few men on the squad went around back to circle the house. Sauli looked at Doug for approval, Doug nodded and Sauli kicked the door open and they rushed in.

   “We have guns!” Doug shouted. “If you resist, we will shoot.” Of course they wouldn’t, unless if they absolutely had to. “Check every room. Her name is Ingrid.” Doug muttered to Sauli.

    Sauli nodded and split off in another direction. He went down a long hallway, stepping over beer bottles, empty bags of chips, and unidentified puddles. It reminded him of his childhood, and he kept his eyes forward. Sauli entered what he assumed the bedroom and froze.

    There was a long, heavy chain running down from the bedpost to under the bed. Sauli didn’t move. He heard a slight intake of breath, and he knew he had found something. He whistled for his partner and waited until Doug found him. Sauli got on his hands and knees and peered under the bed. A small, blond haired child with her hand over her mouth looked up at him.

    “Are you Ingrid?” Sauli asked in English. The girl nodded slowly. “Hi Ingrid, my name is Sauli, Detective for the FBI.” Once the words left his mouth, Ingrid let out a sob of relief and extended her arms towards him. Sauli gently reached under the bed and pulled her out, lifting her into his arms, one under her knees and the other behind her shoulders.

   She wasn’t wearing much—a pair of tattered and old shorts and a stained tank-top, but she clung to him like her life depended on it. She was covered in bruises in places Sauli didn’t even know could bruise.

   “Somebody get me something so I can get this chain off of her.” Sauli called, switching back to his native tongue, noticing the chain around her neck. Ingrid began crying tears of joy and she buried her face into his neck.

   “You’re safe now.” Sauli assured, carrying her out of the room. News reporters had shown up when Sauli emerged out of the house with the child, and pictures were being taken all at once. Sauli carried her over to an ambulance that had arrived so she could be checked.

   “Sauli! How does it feel to be a hero?” One reporter asked, shoving a microphone in his face. Reporters babbled in Finnish and Sauli shook his head. “We deal with cases like this everyday. It’s nothing new, but each time we find an alive child, it warms my heart.”

   “Sauli!” Doug called from the ambulance. He turned around. “Let’s go back to the hospital so we can call her parents and run some tests.” Sauli nodded. The ride was silent as Sauli wracked his brain for answers. She was completely unharmed. But why?

   When they got to the station, Ingrid was sitting in a chair, talking quickly to an officer. “You need to hear this.” Doug said, pulling Sauli over in the two seats in front of Ingrid. Ingrid was in a hospital bed, babbling about her kidnapping to another officer, who drew the description the child was giving.

    “What is it?” Sauli asked.

    “She says she was taken by a man. His name is Fox—or at least, that’s what he told Ingrid. He has kidnapped over 45 children in the last three years. No one knows if they are alive.” Sauli pinched the bridge of his nose.

    “What does he look like?” He asked Ingrid. She bit her lip, trying to remember.

   “He has blond hair and piercing green eyes. He’s skinny and tall, and he always wears black. He never showed his face to me, I only saw his eyes.”

   “How did he take you?” Doug asked.

   “He didn’t _take_ me. He saved me from…” Ingrid trailed off.

   “What is it?” Sauli asked gently.

  “My father was abusive to me. Fox must’ve seen him on one of his bad days, and he crawled through my window and asked if I trusted him. I don’t know what possessed me to say yes, maybe his beautiful voice; but he took my hand and got me out of there. He never did anything to me, so you better not arrest him. He just…wanted to protect me, I think. He said he knew what I was going through. He saved my life.”

    “We need to track him down.” Doug says to Sauli. Then he turned back to Ingrid.

  “Do you know what happened to the other kids?” Ingrid shakes her head. “No. He splits us up into different places with different people to take care of us.”

   “Who was taking care of you?” Doug asked.

   "He was. _Fox_.”

   “Do you have any idea where he went?” Sauli asked. Ingrid nodded slowly.

   “Where?”

   “You aren’t going to arrest him, right?” Ingrid asked. Doug closed his eyes.

   “Ingrid, he’s kidnapping children and spreading them out around the country. We need to find him and prevent him from doing it again.”

    “He’s saving us! He saved me from my father and he took care of me.” Ingrid almost shouted. Sauli looked at Doug and sighed heavily.

   “You were found with barely any clothes on, and you were beaten and bruised with a chain on your neck. He will be arrested when we find him. Where did he go, Ingrid?”

   Ingrid crossed her arms.

   “Near the outskirts of Burbank, Los Angeles.” She muttered angrily. “He told me she was looking for somebody.”

   “Doug, Sauli, see if you can track him down before he kidnaps somebody else.” Chief Carter says as she walks into the room. Doug and Sauli rushed to get up. Checking to make sure Karani was still in the station, Doug and Sauli got in the car and started the engine.

   “What man kidnaps children from their homes to _save_ them?” Doug frowned as he turned out of the station. Sauli sighed and closed his eyes.

 “I don’t know. But Ingrid was just rescued—she’s tired and confused. I guarantee half of what she said is inaccurate. I think once the doctors check her over and see what’s up; she’ll be able to tell us more.”

    “I hope so.” Doug replies.


	2. Two

    They located Fox. He's currently prowling around in Los Angeles in West Hollywood, right now in a strip club. So not only is the bastard taking children, he's horny as well. "Ingrid isn't telling us everything. If this mysterious man 'Fox' was supposed to be 'saving' her, why did she look so scared when we found her?" Doug says to the Chief.

        "And why did she have a chain around her neck?" Sauli asked.

     "Sauli and I will fly out to LA tonight and track him down. He will be stopped. We'll take him into custody, and question him, only using force if we absolutely have to." 

     "Doug, we don't speak English." Cheif Chief says. "How are we going to take him into custody when he doesn't understand us? And there's no one on this force that speaks English."

     "I do." Sauli said. "I've lived in LA for ten years. I speak English very well." It wasn't all true. Sauli hasn't spoken English since he left LA and moved back to Helinski. I.E--ten years ago. He might be a little rusty. 

    "Sauli, you can't go alone." Doug says. 

    "Yes I can. I know West Hollywood. I know exactly what to do. I'll fly out tonight and will return."

    "Sauli—" Doug tries but Chief holds up her hand. 

   "Let him go. I trust Sauli."  

   He flew out that night, with a plan. He would return with Fox, or whatever his real name was. 

 

   ***

 

     This was not what he expected. When a person hears the words 'strip club' they do not think of a bunch of young, little boys offering themselves to men much older than them. Little boys so young as six were offering sex to perverts. Sauli had to act natural. Putting on a smile, he handed a few bills to the bouncer before stepping inside the club. Music blared through speakers and there was a strong smell of sweat and alcohol.

    Sauli slid inside a booth and sat down, waiting. He noticed very few males that were older than 16. One particular male kept looking at Sauli, and despite himself, Sauli found himself looking at the male quite a lot as well. He had hair so black, it looked blue. He looked about twenty or so, perhaps a little older. No older than 28, maybe. He had a black skintight tanktop on, showing off toned muscles and a sleeve of tattoos. Sauli had a sleeve of tattoos himself, so he wasn't bothered.

   He had dark grey skinny jeans on with tears in certain places with short, spiked boots. The man's lips were a little red and swollen, probably from what he's been sound all night, but he was a beautiful person, overall. Black liner outlined his hooded, blue eyes, and his hair stood tall, glitter sparkling throughout it. Finally, he caught Sauli staring for the fourth time and came over to his table, sitting down. "Hi." He purred. Sauli put on a smile.

     "Hi," he said, his accent thick. The man arched a perfect, black eyebrow.

    "Not from around here?" He questioned, picking up on Sauli's accent. Sauli shook his head. The man stood up, offering his hand. "Then let me show you how we do it in LA." Sauli hesitated, but he had to blend in. How suspicious would he look if he turned down the hottest prostitute in West Hollywood? Very.

  Sauli stood up and accepted the man's hand and let him weave him through the crowd, occasionally ducking away from someone's hand. He lead Sauli to the back of the club to the door marked 'Viper' and pushed open the door. He motioned Sauli to step inside, and when he did, his eyes widened. The biggest snake—a Trimeresurus Abolabris to be exact—was sitting in the middle of a large bed, hissing at Sauli. 

   "Hey!" The man snapped his fingers, pointing at the Viper. "Don't even think about it." Then he turned to Sauli. "I'm sorry." He said apologetically. "My viper can get a little bitchy from time to time."

    "Its fine." Sauli said, although it totally wasn't. He was terrified of snakes, and a fucking poisonous snake sitting in the same room as him was not going to end well. The man picked up the snake, and Sauli watched as the reptile slid down the man's body until it wrapped around his left thigh.

      "So what're you really here for?" The man asked, turning to Sauli. "Because obviously you're not here for sex, so what is it, because thats all thats here." 

      Shit. So much for blending in.

   “Because I want to talk to you. The _real_ you.” Sauli admitted. The man frowned and looked at himself. 

    “This is me.” He said, confused. Sauli shook his head.

     "Maybe this will help." He said, taking a small step forward. The Viper hissed and the man snapped at it again, bringing his hand down and blocking the snake's view. Very slowy, Sauli brought his hand up to the man's face and he fliched, thinking Sauli was going to strike him.

    Instead, his hand cupped the side of the man's face gently, the pad of his thumb drawing small circles under his eye. The only soft guesture he's been given, in ten years. To anyone else, the guesture would've meant nothing. But this man only knew one other man who made that gesture once upon a time ago, and that was—

    Realization struck the man's face. “What the hell are you doing here?” He growled, pulling away. 

           “I came to find you. You’re the headlines in the papers.”

            “What are you, a cop?” He snorts.

   “Kind of,” Sauli said, raising his badge. “FBI agent, really.”

   He backed away from him quickly. “Shit! You can’t be here! You want to get us all arrested and killed?” He hissed. Sauli tucked his badge away again.

  “Trust me, if I did, it’d be an improvement. This isn’t the man I remember.”

    “Well ten years will do that to you.” He said sourly.

  “What happened to you?” Sauli whispered. "I thought you were dead."

  He crossed him arms and looked away. Of course, despite how much he has changed, he never lost his stubbornness. 

  “Adam—” His head snapped up. The expression in his eyes took Sauli’s breath away. The blue color had darkened to the point of where they were practically black, and the way he was just looking at Sauli…so intense and deep, Sauli found him threatening.

   “Viper. That's my name. No one calls me Adam. I didn’t even remember it until now. That’s not my name. At least, not _anymore_.” He said in confusion. Sauli shook his head.

  “Yes it is; it’s always been your name.”

  He crossed him arms. “Why are you here?”

  “I could ask you the same question.”

   “Stop with the poetic attitude.”

 “Well at least you didn’t lose your sassiness.” Sauli laughed hollowly. Adam huffed.

   “I came to get you out of here.” Now it was _his_ turn to laugh, except Adam's was genuine.

   “Oh Sauli, you’re supposed to be an FBI agent, which means you should’ve thought this through very carefully. I’m not going anywhere.” Besides, I’m in my full energy tonight.”

    “I know, I’ve sat in the corner booth for two hours and have seen at least six people with you already. I thought you could use a break.”

   His face softened slightly.

   “What you did was thoughtful. But you don’t know me at all, not anymore, and I don’t expect you to do such things for me. This is my job and I can handle it. Thanks, though.” Sauli bit his lip. He knew this wouldn’t be easy because Adam was no longer Adam. He was Viper.

   “So do you prefer the name Viper now?” He asked, changing the subject. He nodded and shrugged.

     “Fits me better than Adam. I always hated that name.” He shrugged again. Sauli nodded, feeling his heart crack just a little more.

    “Okay, then it was nice seeing you again Viper.” He nodded.

   “I really appreciate what you did, Sauli. And here, take your money back.” He held out his hand, holding his money. Sauli shook his head no.

    “Keep it.”

    “I can’t. You know that.”

   “Yes you can, and you will.” Sauli said, taking Adam’s wrist and pressing the money in his hand, closing his fingers around them. He flinched violently at his touch and Sauli released his hand. His eyebrows etched in confusion but Adam was no longer looking at him. He turned away and walked out, shutting the door softly behind him.

    He threw the money down on the mattress and ran to the bathroom, stepping over his snake that had crawled onto the floor. He turned on the water in the sink all the way on the hot side and ran his wrist underneath it, where Sauli had touched him. He had to get rid of the burning feeling he left. He was almost panicking, but he held it together when he touched him. If Sauli would’ve kept his hand there a second longer, Adam might’ve started screaming.

   He turned off the water and dried off his hand with shaky fingers. He leaned against the door, a million flashbacks invading him mind unwillingly. He knew he recognized him. Just by the way he spoke. And he tried to push those damn memories away. He had moved on!

  Right? He had ran off, back here so Sauli could live a peaceful life! Not come back and see him like this. Sauli wasn't supposed to see Adam like this. Ever. But he knew he would see him again. He could never forget that damn voice, although he sure as hell thought he did during those ten years without him.

   Adam raised his head and looked in the mirror. He can’t say he looks the same. His hair had darkened even more, to the point where it was blue, and stood tall.

   He had gotten taller, and his cheekbones had sharpened slightly, reminding him of the once dark, 18 year old boy that roamed the prison walls. For someone with hair so dark you wouldn’t expect their eyes to be so blue, but it was a dark abyss of only a blue that could be detected at the bottom of the ocean.

   He got lucky. He was able to recognize Sauli before Jace did. Obviously Sauli had forgotten the entire reason why Adam left. He returned to this place, returned to Jace, not because he wanted to. He had to.

  If he didn't, Jace would've tracked down both of them and murdered Sauli first while he would force Adam to watch. And Adam knew firsthanded that Jace was not afraid to kill. He just murdered a young boy yesterday because he refused to work anymore. The boy was only 6, not even 10 years old. 

   This place had changed a lot. Adam used to be the youngest prostitute here, but now he's probably the oldest. Recently, Jace has been recruiting more and more boys, except a lot younger. Now they have sections. The youngest boys are in section A which is the blowjob/handjob section since the boys can't handle actual sex yet.

   Section B is where Adam started off when he was first recruited. This section is for the boys from age 10-14 that can take a little roughness, and can last for a while. The last section is section C where Adam is now, along with the other older prostitutes. That section is also known as the "Anything Goes" section.

   He took a deep breath and made sure his hair was still standing up. He shook his head. It was nice of Sauli to come back, but why? He didn’t want him there. He didn’t want him to see him like this. But it was too late.

    Adam glanced at the clock. It was almost one am. His shift was almost over, and he had to meet up with Jace soon. If he were lucky, maybe Sauli wouldn’t come back.

 


	3. Three

    He came back a week later. He was jealous. Just a little. Or maybe not. It mostly was worry and sadness, but one thing he knew for sure: he hated seeing Adam like that. Instead of going alone, he brought somebody. Probably not the best choice.  "He'll kill me if he sees you."

  “Where is he?” Kaitlyn asked as she slid into the back booth. Sauli pointed with his head towards Adam who was grinding against a pole to the heavy music. “Jesus Christ, he’s changed.” Kaitlyn whispered as she watched Adam strut to a man that waved at him.

   “We all have.” Sauli replied. Kaitlyn’s eyes shifted over to look at Sauli, but Sauli wasn’t looking at her. He was looking at Adam. He was smiling. He looked happy, like he was having the time of his life.

  Another male stripper who couldn't be older than 10 or 11 appeared on stage, dressed in shorts and no shirt. Sauli watched silently. Adam appeared back on stage and dropped to his knees, rocking back and forth a little. The boy disappeared for a moment, until he returned with a lighter. Sauli's eyes widened. Oh no.

    Adam positioned himself on his back, his arms raised above his head. Sauli couldn't breathe. The boy picked up a can of gas and poured it onto Adam's torso and stomach. Everyone picked up on what the boy was about to do, and the audience whistled and hollered.

    The boy blindfolded Adam and picked up the lighter and a towel. What was the point of this? Tension grew in the room as the boy set the flame near Adam's stomach and Sauli felt every nerve in his body go numb as he watched Adam being set alight. His eyes rolled in the back of his head and he blacked out. 

 

      ****

 

     "Sauli." Someone called from afar. He attempted to open his eyes, but failed as a waveof nausea washed over him. "Sauli!" Someone yelled in his ear and his eyes snapped open. Kaitlyn came into view. "You scared the shit out of me. Don't do that again." He sat up, realizing he was lying down in a booth.

     "Where's Adam?"

    "You might not want to look." Kaitlyn  said. Sauli blinked and looked up. Adam was giving a man a lapdance on stage. He started to fail back down again. "Oh no you don't." Kaitlyn pulled on Sauli's arm, forcing him to sit back up. Then Adam’s eyes found Kaitlyn’s through the throngs of the men. She choked on her water and immediately looked away, clearing her throat.

   They pretended they didn’t see Adam stomp over to them, looking pissed. “You’ve got to be kidding me. First you’re here by yourself, then you bring this fool along. Why in the hell is she here?"

   “Well, I can see you’re still the bright ray of sunshine that I remember.” Kaitlyn says.

   Adam ignores her and his eyes alert over to Sauli. His face hardens.  "Why are you here too?”

  “Why not?” Sauli answered. Adam rolled his eyes and sat down at their table.

   "That didn't answer my question--”

   “Hey!” All three turn their heads towards the caller. A large man, much larger than Sauli and Adam combined suddenly appeared out of nowhere. He sat down next to Kaitlyn, clearly drunk. “I know this place is for actual strippers, but I couldn’t help notice your beautiful face.” He slurred, touching Sauli’s hand. Sauli fought to show his disgust and pulled his hand away.

 “They don’t allow that here, sir.” Adam said, disgusted as well. "A customer cannot interact sexually with another customer. Only the escorts."

   The man’s bloodshot eyes move over to his and he smiled. “Don't worry beautiful. You'll be next. I’m sure they can allow it once in a while. What do you say, handsome?” He asks Sauli.

  “Back off man. He’s mine!” Adam suddenly barks. In one quick motion, he has his lips pressed against Sauli’s, and Sauli’s eyes are wide with shock. He’s sitting there, paralyzed while Adam has his hands locked around the back of Sauli’s neck. He finally pulls away after a minute. Sauli is still staring at the floor in shock.

  Adam straightens himself and shoots the man an icy glare. “Find somebody else.” He growled. The man stood up and walked away. Adam looked at Sauli and rolled his eyes. “It was just a kiss Sauli, relax.”

   Relax? Did he really just say, relax?

  “Why did you do that?” Kaitlyn asked, her eyes alert, going back and forth between the boys. Adam shrugged.

    “I had to convince that douche somehow.”

  “You couldn’t have just told his that he wasn’t interested?”

   He shook his head. “Honey,  there is no such thing as telling someone. Its all about showing in this place.” Kaitlyn looked at Sauli, who was still in shock.

   “Well, if you’re trying to figure out if that was hot or disturbing…it was totally hot.” Sauli glared at her, his face flushing.

  Adam half smiled and stood up. “I have to get back to work. Nice seeing you again, Kaitlyn. You too, Sauli.” He strut away, about forty pairs of eyes following him.

   “Where is he going?” Kaitlyn almost whispered.

   “He’s off to play with the diamond dogs.” Sauli answered.

   “You miss him.”

  “Am I that transparent?”

   "Yes, and I know exactly why he kissed you."

    "Why?"

    "He still loves you, and hates seeing when people like him try to grope you."

   "What do to mean people like him?"

    "The people that are too far gone to change. There’s nothing we can do about it now. He’s not coming back.”

   “Don’t say that.”

   “Sauli, look at him! Look how much Adam has changed. You were able to save him once, but I don’t think you can do it again. I don't think he wants to be saved."

    "How would you know? You stabbed him for Christ sake." Kaitlyn huffed. 

     "Jesus Sauli, just drop it. That's not even what I was talking about. Here's my advice, take it or leave it. You don't know Adam anymore because he doesn't exist. This man is the man you're going to have to get used to. He has gone too many years without you by his side. So what you need to do is get to know him again, without changing him. Take him somewhere nice, like that creek you and I used to sit by." Sauli looked at her. 

    "Are you sure?" He asked. 

   "No." She admitted. "But you should be sure. He's your boy, after all." They watched as Adam flipped his hair on stage and sit down on another man.

   "He's certainly born to be on stage." Sauli said.

   "You can say that again."

   "Why?"

   "Well...I just found a shitload of information on Adam. He auditioned for American Idol and came in second. Shit Sauli; he's working on an album, and he's going to release it soon. He made up an entire bio of his life, taking out the parts about his abusive life and changed it into something better. He also auditioned and was casted in Wicked. He's performed his new single at the AMA's and had a concert in Finland."

   Sauli's eyes snapped over to Kaitlyn's. She stared at him with the same expression until her eyes drifted behind him. There was a loud sound and the sound of glass shattering and screaming. Sauli looked over. People were running, pushing and shoving to get out of the club. Sauli stood up and time stopped. What was going on? People moved almost in slow motion, their voices muffled.

   Police officers raced around, grabbing random people and arresting them. Someone was grabbing Sauli's arm and screaming something, but he shrugged them off. Then, through the chaos, he heard one particular scream that was heard louder than any other. Everything snapped clear.

  Sauli ducked as something came right towards him and looked back. A small hole was in the wall, inches from where he had just been standing. A bullet? He heard that scream again and took off, pushing through people.

   Adam was struggling on the ground, two policemen on top of him,  trying to pin him down. One of the other officers raised his gun and shot. Time stopped again, and all Sauli heard was Adam scream, then silence. He took a step forward, muted, but someone yanked him back. "Sauli, we have to go." Kaitlyn whispered, her voice strained. Sauli blinked and let her pull him out of the club. 


	4. Four

    "I thought you said you were bringing Fox back." Chief growled. 

     "Ma'am, there was a police raid. I had to get out. They started shooting."

     "Who called the police?"

      "I don't know, but they came in and totally destroyed the place and arrested most of the people there." Chief massaged her temples. 

       "What are we going to do?" 

       "I don't know. But we need to find him. Did you find any information?"

       "Yes, a little. What he does is he takes the children and forces them into prostitution. He's done it for years, including to one of my...former friends."

     "Who?" Chief's eyes grew alert. 

     "Adam Lambert." 

    "Adam Lambert." She said thoughtfully. "That name sounds familiar." 

    "He was one of the people arrested, and shot at." 

    "He was shot? Is he alive?"

    Sauli shrugged. "I don't know." 

   "I need you to go back to Los Angeles."

     "What?"

   "This Adam fellow and Fox work in the same place, yes? So Adam might have answers!"

    "Chief, Adam won't listen to me. I haven't seen him in 10 years and believe me, he's not what he used to be."

   "Then fix him. You did it once, can't you do it again?"

    "This is different. Adam wanted to be fixed last time. Who knows what damage is done. Besides, he seems happy."

   "Sauli, this is strange. You're usually not one to back down from a fight. Expecially if it involves a past lover." She raised her eyebrows. He shrugged.

   "I don't know Adam anymore. He doesn't need me anymore, and that's fine. We've both moved on. I'm doing what I need to do, and he's doing what he needs to do."

    Chief looked at him. "It pains you to say that, doesn't it? You look miserable. You haven't moved on, I can see it in your eyes."

    "What's the next assignment?" Sauli changed the subject. Chief looked at him.

    "Well, as much as you are dying to put as much distance between you and Adam as possible, that's not going to happen. I found information about Fox. His real name is Jace Gardena, age 32. He's the owner of the strip club Adam works at, and he's behind most of the kidnappings. Unfortunately, there's more news. Jace doesn't work alone. He has three other men taking the children as well. They go by the names Blade, Viper, and Sliver." Sauli shrugged. 

   "Sauli, the three other men's names are Sutan, Adam, and Tommy. Do any of those names ring a bell?" He bit his lip.

  "Since you can't seem to speak, stay here. I'll find someone else to capture them."

 

     ****

         "I don't want to do this anymore." He whispered in realization as he stared into the mirror. Jace had moved the remaining escorts into one of his warehouses far out where no one can call the police due to bad signals. Only the rich and desperate travel that far to this warehouse.

   And this place is always packed. Someone called the police when they found out Jace has been abducting children and forcing them into prostitution. They're fine with older children but not age 7 and younger. They can't handle the roughness. Luckily, Adam and most of the escorts escaped. He took a deafening gunshot near his head, but he's alive.

     Adam stared at himself in the mirror. He was ready. His hair styled upwards, his favorite outfit, his eyeliner. So why couldn't he do it? He's done it for years! Why is today any different?

   It's because of Sauli.

  Adam gritted his teeth. Damn it Sauli! Why couldn't he just stay away from him? Why couldn't Sauli just leave him alone? Adam growled in frustration and slams his fist against the mirror, cracking it. He stared at himself through the shards of glass,  breath8ng hard. 

   The door opened and Adam turned around. One of the escorts and Adam's friend Sutan, was staring at him. "I can't do it." He whispers.

  Sutan took a step forward with a concerned look on his face. "Adam. Calm down and think." He shook his head vigorously. Hysteria was starting to take over. Since Sauli had touched him, that gentle, soft hand, he reminded Adam of their relationship 10 years ago. And he wanted it back. "You're fine."

    "No it's not question of being if I can do it. I can put on the outfit and I can do my hair but I physically can't do it anymore." 

  "Adam, you'll be fine." Adam grabbed Sutans wrist.

   "Don't let me do it. I can't do it anymore. Please don't make  do this." Tears flooded his eyes.

   "Adam if I don't he'll kill you and me. And everyone here. I can't cover for you again. I'll only send in one man. Just one, okay?" He loosened Adam's hold on him and disappeared for a moment.

  He returned with a small, short brown haired man. Lust glinted in his eyes as he made his way over to Adam. "I'll be gentle." The man promised.

   "Please don't make me do this." Adam whispered as tears rolled down his face.

   "Adam--" Sutan tried.

    "No! I can't do it! Don't touch me!" 

    "Hey!" The brown haired man stood up. "I asked for your best prostitute. Not a blubbering mess! I want my money back!" The door flew open.

   "What's going on here?" Jace demanded.

   "This is your best prostitute? This is nothing but a street whore. I want a refund!" The man stormed past Jace and out the door. Jace grabbed Adam.

   "What happened?" He seethed.

   "I can't do this anymore!" 

   "You don't have a choice now, boy. You're in my hands."

    "I'm not doing it anymore!" Adam yelled. Jace smiled. 

    "Fine." 

   He lunged for Adam, slamming his skull against the wall. Adam immediately went limp. Jace turned to Sutan. "Take him downstairs." He said.


	5. Five

   His head was pounding. That was the first thing he registered. The second thing is he was tied up with something, his body forming an X. He was in the dark, but he could hear slow breathing that was not his own. The lights slammed on and Adam turned his head, squeezing his eyes shut. "I knew he'd have an effect on you. Only desperate men like him would make the stupid decision to come rescue a whore like you." Jace's voice said. The lights shut off again. 

     Adam could hear footsteps echo off the walls. The lights flashed on again and Adam blinked. Jace stood there, a few feet back behind a table. On the table lay rows and rows of knives and other weapons specifically designed for torture."Don't worry. They aren't for you. They're for him." He nodded to Adam's left. A few feet away is a boy no older than 10, tied up like Adam. His head was slumped down. "Don't worry. He's alive. But because of you, he's receiving this."

     At first, Adam didn't understand. Then it clicked. "No." He said, pulling at his restraints. "Don't."

     "Begging won't help. You know that." Jace said calmly. 

      "Jace, he's just a child."

     "As you were when I first found you. Adam, you know what happens when you are defiant with me. I think you picked it up from that blonde haired boy you've been with. Maybe I should take care of him too." He smiled in thought. 

     "Stay away from him!" Adam seethed, pulling at his restraint again. "This has nothing to do with Sauli!"

    "It had everything to do with him!" Jace yelled, causing Adam to flinch. "Because of that Fin, you are worthless but you think you're defiant! Because of him, no one will want you! That's why your mother beat you!"

    "Shut up!" Adam yelled. 

    "I saved you!" He snarls, coming closer to Adam's face. "I saved your damn life boy, and I can take it back! You want to go back to living in the streets and selling yourself to God knows what?"

    "Stop!" Adam screamed. 

  "Your mom's out of prison, you want to go back to her? I can make it happen!"

   "No!"

 Jace grabbed Adam by his hair. "Then shut the fuck up and do what you're supposed to do." Releasing Adam's hair, Jace stepped back, taking a deep breath to recompose himself. Beisde Adam, a small gasp was heard. Adam's head whipped to his left, and if he weren't tied, he would've facepalmed himself. "Oh good. He's awake. Let's start." Adam shook his head. Jace opened a door on the far side of the left wall and shut it behind him.

   "Help me." The boy hissed, his voice cracking.

    "I can't. I'm tied down." 

     "What did I do wrong?"

    Nothing, Adam shook his head. Just like him. Jace reappeared a minute later. He smiled at Adam. "I think we'll start with this one." He said, pulling out a small knife with a jagged blade. Realizing his fate, the boy starting wiggling in his restraints and looked wildly between Adam and Jace. "Don't even think about it." Jace said, pointing the blade at Adam when he saw him move a little. "First we need to get these off." Jace said, his hands reaching towards the boy's pants.

   "Don't touch me!" The child screamed. Adam shook his head again. He's tried that before and it doesn't work. Jace slapped the child.

  "Quiet!" He barked. He roughly pulled off the crying child's pants and tossed them aside. Adam forced himself to look straight ahead, his teeth sinkinginto his bottom lip. "I hate it when men cry." Jace said matter-of-factly, tracing the blade softly against the child's bare thigh. "It shows how weak they are."

  In a quick motion, Jace stabs the knife into the boy's thigh, twisting it. The child let out one of the biggest screams he could possibly muster and Adam flinched. "Be quiet!" Jace yelled, slapping the child again. A chill ran through Adam and straight down to his crotch. Jace looked over. "Adam, are you getting off on this?" He asked with a smirk. "You're sporting a bit of a tent there."

  "I'm freezing, you jackass." Adam answered through gritted teeth. "What kind of sick fuck gets off on something like this, besides you?" Jace looked back at the silently sobbing boy.

  "Let's give our friend Adam a show, shall we? After all, its his fault you're here." The boy's head whipped over to Adam, who was still looking straight ahead. "But first, we have to get Adam ready. You claim you're cold...but I think it's more than that." He roughly grabbed Adam's crotch through his pants and Adam winced, flinching. Jace hummed. "What is it, Adam? Is our show turning you on?"

    "No." Adam spit out. Jace palmed his dick through the fabric.

   "Your mouth says no, but your body says otherwise." He shoved his hand under the waistband of Adam's pants, and Adam jerked at the contact. "Ooh, I'm feeling some blood rush down, wouldn't you agree?"

   Shit.

   Adam mentally cursed at himself. It wasn't the fact that he was turned on, it was the contact of skin on skin. Actually, it didn't matter what the fuck was touching Adam's cock; it could be a fucking bear's paw and Adam's cock would respond. He tried thinking of stuff that would reduce the bloodflow, but nothing was working! "That's my boy." Jace said as he wrapped his hand around the base of Adam's dick.

   He squeezed once and Adam's arm jerked in the chain, fighting the urge to throw his head back. He would not give in. Jace could do whatever he wanted to him. Adam would not give in. "C'mon Adam." Jace purred, starting to move his hand up and down. "Come for me."

     "No. Stop." His breathing hitched in his throat as Jace's finger brushed over the underside of his crown. "I remember this was your special spot." Jace said, flicking his finger back under the crown of Adam's dick. "I also remember you prefer a tongue instead of a hand. Adam's eyes widened.

   "Don't." He said forcefully. Jace winked at him as he started to tug on Adam's pants. "Stop!"

    "I don't think you want me to, babe." Jace said as he fully pulled down Adam's pants. "You need a release." Adam threw his head back so he didn't have to look, tugging at his restraints again. Jace hummed in approval as he pulled down Adam's underwear, his dick springing free. "I almost forgot how big you were." 

     "Stop--" Adam cut himself off with a loud gasp when Jace wrapped his mouth around Adam's dick. Jace hummed again, sending vibrations through Adam's body. "Please, stop." 

    Jace suddenly broke away. "What did I tell you about begging!?" He yelled, biting down hard on Adam's dick.

   "Shit!" Adam yelled, jerking back. Tears stung his eyes, but he refused to let them fall. The boy next to him wailed quietly. Jace roughly pulled Adam’s pants up, grabbing his throat. "I'm not done with you." He hissed, squeezing hard before letting go. Adam's body slumped in the chains. "Might as well get comfortable. You'll be here for a while." Jace said, opening the door. He smiled before shutting it firmly. A lock was heard being placed. Too tired to support his head, Adam dropped his head down, closing his eyes. 


	6. Six

He numbly sat down in the corner, traumatized. His hands were shaking and his gaze was unfocused. The child was still alive, whimpering every now and then as he tried to pull the knife out. "Don't." Adam finally said as the child tried again. "It's holding the blood in. If you take it out, you'll bleed to death."

    "Please help me. Untie me." Slowly, Adam stood up. His hands moved slowly but he was able to get the chains off. Adam stiffened when the child wrapped his arms around Adam's neck. Adam placed one arm under the child's legs and lifted him up, carrying him over to the corner where Adam was sitting. He set him down gently, accidently brushing against the knife. The child winced and Adam's face softened. "I'm sorry."

    "It's okay."

   Adam sat back down. They sat in silence. "I didn't look."

    "What?"

   "I didn't look at what Jace did..to you." Adam nodded once. He did not want to talk about it, nor relive it. 

    "Um...thanks." Jesus Christ this was awkward. 

    "Is your name Adam?" He nodded again. "Adam Lambert?"

    "Yeah."

    "What are you doing here?" He shook his head.

    "I don't know." He whispered, because he really didn't. "I just gave up."

   "Didn't you have something to fight for?" His thoughts wandered back to Sauli and how he came back for Adam.

    "Yeah," he said, his eyes watering. "I did." 

    "It's not too late, you know." Adam nodded, but it was a lie. It was too late. Jace was going to keep Adam here until he starved to death. That, or kill him. Unless he returned back to work. "Listen, I know you probably think of me as a náive child with a knife in his leg, but I get it. You do think it's too late. You want to go back to him, but you can't."

    "Why?" Adam asked. 

   "Because you're still trying to protect him. Even if you can't physically, you're still trying. You know what Jace is capable of, Adam." He nodded. The kid was right. 

   "What about your fans, and your album?" Chills ran down his spine. Adam totally forgot. "Shit." This was a curse and a gift. Surely someone would report that the American Idol runner-up was missing, right? 

   As if on cue, the door opened. "I did it!" Jace said happily, tossing a newspaper article down in front of the two. "You're officially declared dead." Adam's heart dropped. "What? How did you do that?" 

   Jace smiled. "I matched up the DNA. Nothing you need to worry about. In speaking of DNA--" He dragged something in a garbage bag towards Adam. "See if you can figure out who he is." Jace said with a smile, closing the door. Adam waited until he heard Jace's footsteps leave before he looked at the bag. It was a body bag. His heart pounded in his chest. "Please don't be Sauli." Adam whispered, unzipping the bag.

  A soft tuff of blond hair touched his hand and Adam jerked back, breathing hard. It was Sauli. He was sure of it. The boy, who Adam still doesn't know his name, dragged himself to the bag. Adam covered his eyes with his hands as the boy unzipped the rest of the bag. "Adam?" He said after a minute. "This isn't Sauli."

 

  ****

 

     "What are you doing home?" Karani asked as he opened the door, seeing Sauli sitting at the table. 

    "They didn't need me today." Sauli answered. 

     "You're a cop; how did they not need you?" Sauli shrugged. Karani sat down. 

   "Listen, I know you probably don't think of me as a brother, but I do watch the news. I saw the club bust, and how you got out. I heard the police were taking some of the escorts into custody." Sauli didn't say anything. "Listen, the most important thing is that he's alive. That's got to have some affect on you. He's alive."

    "But he's missing."

    "You forget, you were missing too once. Find him."

    "It's not that simple Karani." 

   "Its not because you're not thinking hard enough. Adam is alive. Jace is alive. Put two and two together. Most likely, Jace escaped with the remaining escorts to some place he had out in the country, faraway from police. He won't go near the city. Search everywhere. If you still love him."

   "Even if I didn't love him, I still care about him. I love him."

   Karani shrugged. "Okay then. Go after him. Go save him and make him yours again. Just don't get yourself killed in the process."

 

    ***

 

       "It's not him." Ryan said for the millionth time. Adam still had his hands over his eyes. "Goddamn it Adam, look! It's not him!" Fat chance. Ryan didn't know what Sauli looked like. "Look, he's got brown eyes. Last I checked, Sauli had blue."

    Adam's head snapped up. "Describe his face." 

    "Fine. He's got blond hair, although half is shaved. Not a lot though. Um...brown eyes, and he has a industrial his left ear." That description sounded so familiar to Adam. "Is he alive?"

   "Yeah, and he's breathing. He's still knocked out though." Adam stood up and made his way back to Ryan. He glanced at Ryan's leg and his eyes widened. "Yeah, its getting infected." He said with a hollow laugh. Don't worry about me right now. Look at him instead." Adam tore his eyes away from the wound and to the person's face. His hand slowly traced the side of the other man's face as he frowned. He knew this person. From what? 

    "He's waking up." Ryan whispered. They held their breath as the blond man slowly opened his eyes, looking at the ceiling. "Shit." He said after a minute. "Where am I?"

    "Sit up slowly." Ryan directed. "I don't want you to pass out. That's it. Adam, can you help me?" Ryan looked back. "Adam?" He was staring right at the blond man, his eyes wide. He knew him. Once upon a time ago. The man looked at Adam and an electric shock ran through his body. In usion, they shot to their feet, staring at each other with the same, horrified expression. Please don't let me remember, Adam pleaded silently. "Adam?" The man asked.

   His hands flew to his hair, tugging on it furiously. "No! It can't be!" He whispered. 

    "Adam, its me. Tommy."

  Tommy. Adam's nightmare had become reality. "Tommy." He whispered. 

    "Adam, look at me." His head snapped up at his name. "Tommy. I-I don't remember that name. I haven't heard it before until now."

    He took a step forward and Adam ducked as if Tommy just electrocuted him. "Don't touch me! Get away from me!" He screamed. "You're not real!"


	7. Seven

    A person would think Adam would've calmed down by now, after spending an hour screaming, cursing, crying, yelling and tearing the place up to escape. But no. It was stretching to two hours now, and he was still running around. Finally, the door opened. "I can't take it anymore!" Jace yelled. "He won't shut up!" He dug in his pocket and threw something down in front of the boys. "Here. Thought you might miss these." He said, shutting the door behind him.

   Tommy, Ryan and Adam all looked down at the packets. Adam understood what it was a second before Tommy and Ryan did, and in another second, he was on the ground, struggling to open the package. Tommy tackled him, wrestling to get the packege away from him. Tommy grabbed it and threw it towards Ryan. 

   "Open it!" He yelled, grabbing Adam's arms and jerking him back. He thrashed like a wild animal. Ryan's fingers shook as he tore the bag open. 

   "They're blades!" He said, looking back up at Tommy. Adam tore his arms from Tommy's grasp and charged towards Ryan, who was army crawling away to escape his rage. Tommy scrambled up and jumped on Adam's back, sending them to the ground. Struggling to get up, Tommy sat on top of Adam, restraining his hands at his sides until he could no longer move. 

   " Adam, use your words. Jace is watching us right now, enjoying this." He pointed at the camera in the corner of the room and Adam's eyes followed. "He wants to see you suffer. Don't give it to him. Don't give him the satisfaction. If you can't do it for yourself, do it for Sauli."

   "I can't." Adam whimpered, shutting his eyes and turning his head away. "Yes you can. I know you can. Do it for Sauli."

     "Sauli doesn't need me." 

     "Bullshit." Tommy said bluntly. "You know that." Adam opened one eye. He sat still, and Tommy got off of him. He took the package of blades in his hand. "You don't need these. Right?" Adam didn't answer. Ryan hissed through his teeth and he looked over.

   "Blood poisoning." Ryan said with a weak smile. Adam blinked and stood up. He slowly walked over to the camera sitting in the corner, its beady light mocking the boys. Adam covered the camera with his hand and not a second later, a loud ear piercing high pitched noise erupted from the camera.

   Tommy and Adam immediately collapsed onto the ground, their hands flying to their ears. Although Adam had taken his hand off the camera, the noise still continued. Adam's hands squeezed so hard his skull could crack. The noise made their ears bleed. Ryan just sat there, motionless when Adam began to scream.


	8. Eight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Happy Thanksgiving :)

    Ryan dies in Adam's arms. Goes to sleep one day. Doesn't wake up. Hours pass and Adam is still holding his corspe. Nobody dared to touch the camera again. It sat there with its blinking light, mocking the two.

    Tommy sat up. "Adam, why don't you rest for a little?" Is he kidding? How could Adam possibly sleep? The very thought of Adam even closing his eyes was idiotic. Adam numbly shook his head.

    It went like this for hours. When Tommy asked a question, Adam would shake his head. The body was starting to smell, but he didn't seem to notice. The entire thing was kind of creepy to Tommy, which is ironic. Adam was rocking a dead child that he barely knew in his arms.

     Tommy was about to nod off again when he heard Adam humming, making the situation even more creepy. The door opened and Jace came in with the bodybag. "Okay Hannibal, hand over the body." Jace said motioning to the bodybag.

   Tommy looked over at Adam. A shiver ran down his spine when he saw the most dangerous look in Adam's eyes. Similar to his lust look, but this look was beyond the line of insanity. Adam had a plan, and he had a plan now. Adam looked away and continued humming. Jace sighed.

   B"You can't make anything easy can you?" He started walking over to Adam. He surprised Jace by standing up fast, the body still in his arms. Tommy noticed Adam's hand slide under Ryan's body, his hand a fist. Keeping his face emotionless, Adam began to slide Ryan into the body bag. Adam suddenly dropped the body into the bag, slashing his hand across Jace's face.

    Jace yelled out, dropping to his knees as blood sprayed out the side of his face. Dropping the blade, Adam grabbed Tommy's hand and ran out of the room. Tommy had no idea where they were going, and it didn't matter because Adam seemed to know. Adam ran down the hall and banged on one of the doors.

   A man with tan skin and heavy makeup on his face opened the door. "Sutan! Come with us! We're escaping." 

     "Adam, what are you doing?" The man hissed. 

     "I'm getting the hell out of here." A distant yell was heard and Adam's head snapped over. "Please Sutan, come on. We can do it!"

     "Adam, I can't. You know that. I'm staying here. Go on, run. I'll be okay. Hurry, go!" Adam blinked at him and Sutan pushed him. "Go!" Turning away, Adam sprinted down the hall, Tommy right on his heels.

   "Lambert!" Jace screamed from behind them.

   Adam burst through a door that said exit and the bright sunlight almost brought both boys down to their knees. Grabbing Tommy's hand and yanking him forward, Adam ran as fast as he could, pulling them behind a tree next to the warehouse. 

    Adam slapped a hand over Tommy's mouth as Jace burst through the warehouse doors into the street. Adam pressed Tommy tightly against him as Jace darted around, checking around trees. 

    Adam moved quietly, moving them behind the warehouse just Jace checked the tree where they were just at. Blood dripped down his face where Adam slashed him and Jace breathed hard, his face red with anger. Adam and Tommy darted into the woods.

   "You can't run far, Lambert! I have ways of making you return." Jace's voice rang out as Adam and Tommy ran faster. One thing Adam knew from experience; Jace always kept a promise. They ran deep into  the woods, not stopping until they reached a path blocked by a fallen tree. A gunshot was heard and Adam andTommy ducked as a bullet whizzed past them and into the tree.

    An adrenaline rush replaced the fear coursing through their veins and they were running again, jumping and sliding over the tree and sprinting off. They didn't stop until the sun began to set. Adam finally slowed to a stop and wiped the sweat from his face. The adrenaline wore off and Adam didn't realize how exhausted he was.

     "We should be okay for now." He panted, looking back where they had just came from. Tommy nodded as he still tried to catch his breath. "We can sleep here tonight, then we'll keep moving to see if we can find a town." Tommy didn't protest. He collapsed onto the ground and Adam followed suit.

    Although he was tired, Adam couldn't sleep, and he didn't want to stop moving. He was afraid that if he stopped even for a second, Jace would find Sauli. Adam had already pissed Jace off, so the thought of him sparing Sauli's life was irrelevant.

    Another thought crossed Adam's mind. What if Jace already found Sauli and was currently dragging his dead body to a river to dispose of him? He could already be dead. But what if he's _not?_  Adam gritted his teeth. Damn it. Getting up quietly, Adam walked a little ways down from where he and Tommy are, and into a clearing.

    The first thing he saw was a house. Crossing the street, Adam tentatively knocked on the door. An older woman opened the door. "Yes?"

 "Hello ma'am. Can I use your phone? My friend and I have to get back home."

   "Damn. You're him. You're that American Idol boy who went missing."

  Adam nodded. "Yes I am."

   Opening her door wider, she let him in. "I voted for you."

   "Aw, thank you." He said with a smile.

   "The phone's right here." Adam bit his lip. He didn't remember most numbers. Except one that he never forgot. Taking a deep breath, Adam typed in the numbers and waited. He glanced at a clock hanging on the wall. It was almost midnight, and if Sauli was alive, he probably wouldn't answer. Adam thought he was sleeping when the call came through. 

    "Hello?" He could've cried right then and there when he heard the accent. He was alive. 

    "Oh God." Adam choked on a sob, biting his hand to keep it contained. 

    "Adam?"

   "Sauli." Tears fell down his face as a huge weight was lifted off his shoulders. 

    "Adam, its late. Is everything okay?" 

    "Sauli, listen to me. I don't have time. I need you to find a safe place to stay for a few days.  I'll explain everything when I see you. Okay?" Silence took over.

    "Okay." Sauli finally said. Adam was slightly surprised he didn't ask questions. "I trust you Adam. I wouldn't think you'd lie to me. I trust you enough not to ask questions and just go with it. I'll find somewhere safe." Adam sighed in relief. 

    "Thank you."

    "I'll see you soon."

    "Sauli?"

     "Yeah?" 

      "I love you." 

     "I love you too." Adam hung up, and after signing something for the woman and giving her a hug, he was back in the woods. But when he got to the place where he and Tomny were at, Tommy was gone.


	9. Nine

  "Love you too." He said as he calmly hung up. The gun was still positioned at the base of his throat. 

   "Don't move." His attacker behind him snarled. It was a woman's voice, or an alarmingly high-pitched male. "Who were you talking to?"

   "Adam." He said. 

   "Adam who?"

   "Adam Lambert." Still unable to see his captor's face, Sauli heard her gasp. "My baby." She whispered. Sauli's eyes widened. 

   "Recognized me, eh?" She said. Sauli turned around and the gun was now directed at his forehead. If he weren't slightly fearful, he would've grimaced. Her black hair hung stringy and around her face. Her eyes, as ice cold as Adam's, stared at Sauli with utter hate. She was still wearing her prison outfit and Sauli could only assume she escaped. 

     "Where is he?" She demanded. 

    "Like I'm going to tell you."

   "Sauli I don't want to hurt you."

   "You've had no problem with harming people before. Expecially with your son." She grit her teeth.

     "Don't you dare bring that up."

     "Why?" He challenged, taking steps forward while she stepped backwards. "Does it bother you that your own son wants nothing to do with you?" 

    "Neil still loves me!" She threw back. Sauli stopped mid sentence as the realization took over. He remembered reading an article about someone who died. Neil died six months ago in a car accident. And neither Adam or Leila knew about it. 

    "Leila," he said calmly. "Neil is dead."

    "Liar!" She screamed, pointing the gun back at him. Sauli said it again, distracting her. Quickly, he slapped the gun out of her hand and tackled her against the wall. She thrashed like a wild animal and Sauli drew his knife, pressing the blade against her throat, stilling her. "Do it." She said. "Kill me now. It doesn't matter. The police are already after me. Make their job easier." 

    "See here's the thing. I am the police." Sauli said, drawing his handcuffs and clasping them on her wrist. He smiled at her as her face transformed to shock as he handcuffed the other to a chair, forcing her to sit down. He reached into his pocket to contact Doug.

    "You'll never find him." She said. Sauli turned around.

     "What?"

    "You heard me. Adam is my son; I know exactly how he thinks. By the time your little firing squad comes, he'll already be dead."

 

    ****

    "Tommy?" Hysteria rose into alarming levels. Adam looked around trees before coming back into the same spot he was just in. "Tommy!" He screamed. "Tomm--" He slammed into something, staggering but not falling. He looked up. "Jesus Christ Tommy. You scared me."

  "You scared me because I woke up and you were gone. You left so I went looking for you. Are you okay?" Adam nodded. 

   "Yeah. I found a town." 

   "You did?"

   "Yeah. Its towards that way. We can leave in the morning."

    "Nah, I'm not tired anymore. We can leave now." 

   "Are you sure?" Tommy nodded and Adam shrugged.

    "Okay." Neither knew they were being watched from a distance by multiple people.

    They were halfway through the town when the sun rose. The only problem is they didn’t know where they were. "I can ask someone." Tommy offered, nodding towards a shop where a man stood inside. Adam bit his lip. "Hopefully he doesn't call the police; we don't look exactly presentable." They glanced down at their outfits.

   Adam was wearing a dirt-stained, torn tank top and shorts, and Tommy might as well have leaves on for a shirt. His pants didn't look too bad, but they didn't look very persuasive. Their hair, another story. Adam's stringy hair hung in his face, overgrown. Tommy's hair was sticking out in awkward places and had grass in it. Their eyes were bloodshot from lack of sleep.

     They burst out laughing. "We look horrible." Tommy said with a smile. Adam nodded in agreement, stifling another laugh. "I'm wearing one sock." They looked down at Tommy's feet and burst out laughing again.

       "Well, if he calls the police, at least we'll know where we're at." Adam said after they stopped laughing. "I'll go in," he glanced at Tommy. "I seem to look slightly better."

      Tommy nodded. "I'll wait out here." Running a hand through his hair, trying to fix it, Adam sighed and walked in the shop.

     "Excuse me, sir?" He said. An older man turned around, a shotgun in his hands.

     "Who are you?" He demanded.

      Adam's hands went up. "I just have a question."

   "No!" The man barked. "I don't have any!"

   "Sir, I just want to know what part of California I'm in." The man didn't lower the gun. 

     "Hollywood." He answered. Adam nodded. 

      "Thank you." Adam turned to leave. 

      "Wait boy!" He turned back around. "You look familiar." Adam shook his head. "Are  you that American Idol boy?" Adam nodded. "Damn." The man whistled. "You're dead." He tossed a newspaper down in front of Adam, finally lowering the gun. Sure enough, Adam's face was plastered onto the front of it. Big black letters declared him dead.

    "How long was I missing?" He asked, his eyes still scanning the paper.

     "About four weeks. Police quit searching after three weeks."

      "Thank you." Adam said.

      "Are they with you?" The man asked, nodding behind him. Adam turned around. Four men dressed in all black stood at the door in a row. Tommy was struggling to get away as one man gripped his arms tighter. Adam didn't have time to react before two men tackled him to the ground, wrenching his arms painfully behind his back. He began fighting back immediately and actually succeeded by kicking one man in the stomach, sending him to the ground.

    Unfortunately his little praise was cut short when another man kicked Adam right back, right in his ribs. His back snapped into an arch as he gasped for air. He was hauled to his feet and his hands were tied with a thick rope.

   Needless to say, Adam just can't seem to get a break.

   A bag was thrown over his head, cutting off his vision. "Move." One man growled, pushing him forward. Sighing in exhaustion, Adam began walking forward, unable to care at the moment about what was going to happen to him.

     


	10. Ten

 "Seriously?" He growled. "If you are part of Sauli's men, why'd you put a bag on my head and tackle me to the ground and tie me?" 

    "Sauli will answer all questions for you." One of the men say, dismissing him. 

     "Could you untie me at least?"

     "I do not have the key."

     "It's rope! Who needs a damn key for rope?" Sighing, the man undid the knot. 

     "There. Now no more questions." They sat in silence and Adam was beginning to grow impatient. His legs were still tied to the chair, and the small room was dark. The door opened and Adam looked up. 

      "Adam." Sauli breathed, running towards him. Adam wrapped his arms around him,  pulling him tighter. "They didn't hurt you, did they?" He asked, pulling away and checking for marks. His eyes stopped at a bruise on Adam's temple. "What happened?" He asked, tracing a finger gently over the blue skin. 

    "It's fine. I'm fine."

    "No, you're not. What happened?" 

    Adam shook his head. Sauli stood up. "I'm taking him back to my house in Helsinki. He'll be safe." He said to the guard in Finnish. Then he turned back to Adam. "Come on." He said softly. Untying Adam's legs, the guard shot Sauli a look, but Sauli ignored him and took Adam's hand.

     "Where are we going?" Adam asked as Sauli took him down the hall.

      "I don't know." He said honestly. Stopping suddenly, he turned to face Adam. "But I do know this; I missed you."

     "I missed you too."

     "No, I'm not talking about these few weeks. I'm talking about the last decade. Adam, although I've been able to get by these 10 years doesn't mean I was happy. Its my job to take care of Karani since my mother died." Adam's eyes widened.

     "Neil." He whispered. "My brother. Where is he?" Fuck. Thinking fast, Sauli brought him to a chair at the front doors of the station. "Adam, sit down. I need you to stay calm when I tell you this." Adam nodded, his blue eyes locking on Sauli's. Taking a deep breath, Sauli took his hand. 

     "Neil is dead, baby. He died in a car accident six months ago." Adam blinked once. Then he nodded and stood up. Sauli watched him carefully. There was no way he'd stay this calm. That wasn't Adam's style. "Where did you say we were going?" He asked Sauli. Blinking, he straightened up. "Um...I was planning to take you to Helsinki." Adam looked at him. "Really?" "Yeah. But I figured you'd probably like to identify yourself as alive." Adam frowned, then remembered he was technically dead. He nodded. "Okay."

 

       Hours later after Adam identified himself to police and questions and hospital visits for tests, Sauli was able to sit down. Adam was being treated for something he had caught during his time in the woods with Tommy. In speaking of Tommy, he also identified himself to police and is being treated as well. The police are searching for Jace and anyone else that could be involved with him. Doug came and sat down next to Sauli at the hospital. "How is he?" 

    "He's different."

     "Different how?"

     "There's something he's not telling me. I mean, I knew he was different before. The only difference now is, I still knew who he was before. Now I don't." 

    "Sauli? He's requesting to see you." A young, blond nurse said as she came from around the corner. Sauli stood up and followed her. Adam was sitting up in his bed when Sauli walked in. He sat down in a chair next to him, pretending to ignore how red Adam's eyes were from crying. "I don't derserve you." He said after a long silence. Sauli looked up. "What?" "I don't deserve you. You've saved my life, more than once. You love me and you want to help me. I have done nothing to deserve your help. I have done nothing for you. How can I compete with your unconditional love for me?" 

     "By loving me right back." Sauli answered. "Adam, a person doesn't have to do certain things to make someone happy. I'd be perfectly fine just knowing you loved me. Even if you did nothing else." 

   "Really?"

  Sauli nodded. Adam reached over and took Sauli's hand in his, intertwining their fingers. "I do love you." He whispered, bringing Sauli's hand to his lips. 

   "I know. I love you too." Sauli whispered back with a small smile. Adam looked over at him. 

   "I know." He said with a smile.

 

    ****

 

     "I fear for him." 

    "You shouldn't."

    "Why?" Karani rolled his eyes at the question. 

    "Oh please. You won him over. He isn't going to leave." There was a hint of jealousy in his voice. 

    "Are you jealous?" Sauli asked, looking over at his brother. 

   "Of the relationship? Yes. You two are like lovesick puppies, although I will admit the relationship is a little hard to swallow. One minute you two are cute and then the next minute its a dramatic monologue of one that thinks he's not good enough for the other but the other thinks he's just fine and blah blah blah. Its very exhaustive."

    Sauli didn't answer. They watched through the glass as Adam went through another test. 

    "But you two are made for each other." Karani continued. "The most important thing in a relationship is understandment. One may have their own war in their head, and the other is there to hand them another bullet."


	11. Eleven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Holy shit I am so sorry for the delay. But I've been procrastinating and haven't had time to finish this chapter. I'm working on a new fanfic and blah. My birthday is tomorrow so I might post a bit more of the new fanfic. If you want to know more about my new fanfic (it is about Saulbert) let me know:)

 

>     Adam was discharged a week later. By now the news that he was alive had broken out by the media, and people lost their shit. Comments flooded Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram. The hashtags #welcomebackAdam and #prayforLambert had officially been trending. 

    Unfortunately, they were unable to get out of the hospital. Crowds of people were waiting to get a glimpse of Adam. "Shit." He whispered as they watched thousands of the people wait. There was actually a news crew there, with reporters and cameras.

   "There's not enough police in LA  to get you guys through. They're blocking everything." One nurse said as she stopped to look outside. "There's no way you'll get out." Well, an idiot could've told them that. "Take a seat. This might take a while before we get this cleared." Sauli tugged on Adam's hand a little, bringing him to a chair. 

   "Are you okay?"

    "I'm fine."

    "You don't look fine."

    "Then stop looking." Adam responded. His voice wasn't cold. It was simple, like he was stating the weather. Sauli looked down at the floor. Sensing his confusion and concern, Adam laced his fingers through Sauli's and offered a small smile. Sauli returned one and they watched as police helplessly tried to get rid of the crowd. And the last thing Sauli wanted was to stay trapped in a hospital. 

       "Adam?" He asked after a minute. 

       "Hm?"

       "Do you still want to be a singer?" Adam smiled a bit. 

       "I don't know." He said honestly. "I mean, Simon offered me a record deal after Idol, but...I don't think I can do it."

      "Why?"

    "Because look at me. I--"

    "Mr. Koskinen and Mr. Lambert?" The young nurse returned. "We're going to have to escort you both home in a police cruiser. The crowd won't leave, and I doubt you want to stay trapped here. If you two are ready, come with me." Sauli and Adam shared glances before standing up. 

    The ride was silent except for the crackling of one police man's radio. Adam started twisting his hands together, something he used to do a long time ago. It reminded Sauli of the person Adam once was. He wanted to reach over and slip his hand between Adam's, but he changed and Sauli didn't want to freak him out. He instead, kept his hands down. Adam started twisting his hands faster.

    "Ottaa rennosti," Sauli murmured, finally slipping his hand between Adam's hands. "Ottaa rennoski." _Relax_. Adam shook his head and slowly looked over at him. Sauli has seen this look before, but can only remember one occasion where it actually happened. And even then, it was hard to remember. 

     Sauli studied the singer's face, trying to think of where he's seen this look before. The way his eyes darkened to the point where they were barely recognizable. That strong but not painful grip he had on Sauli's hand.

     The way his breathing became deeper. How his face flushed and his hair fell into his eyes. The look in his eyes, almost predatory, finally reminded Sauli of the only other time he's seen this look. His face paled. Adam's turned on. And is doing a poor job of hiding it. 

      Now he remembers very clearly of the other time this happened. It was nearly a decade ago. And although Adam might’ve changed over the years, he was still the same sexual animal. Adam looked at Sauli through a half-lidded gaze, a mischievous smirk on his face.

    Sauli swiftly turned his head to the side to see if the officers had noticed Adam's sudden change in behavior. But they were too wrapped up in a conversation about two prisoners escaping a county jail. 

    "They won't notice." Adam was suddenly close to Sauli's ear, whispering. His breath tickled the shell of Sauli’s cartilage and Sauli swallowed hard. "Tell me something in Finnish." Adam whispered. "Something I don't understand."

    "We can't do it here." Sauli whispered back. 

     "I don't care. Say something in Finnish." He whispered back. He scooted impossibly closer to Sauli and he could literally feel the heat radiating off Adam's skin. Tilting his head down next to Adam's ear, Sauli breathed softly in his ear before whispering something in Finnish. It wasn't sexual, in fact, it was a question about the weather, but Adam still bit back a moan because of the tone Sauli used. Fucking tease.

     Breathless, Adam slowly took off his seatbelt so he could close the little space between him and Sauli. "Put your seatbelt back on, son." One of the officers said from the front. Either Adam hadn't heard him and was blinded from the sexual atmosphere or he had heard him and just didn't care because he was pressed completely against Sauli, motionless. 

   Throwing the officer an apologetic look, Sauli unlatched his own seatbelt and clicked it back in place after strapping it across his body and Adam's.  The longer the ride, the thicker the sexual tension became. Although Sauli really tried, he also became aroused when Adam started panting in his ear. Gritting his teeth, Sauli slowly started becoming more and more aroused. 

    His hand went to his own thigh as he tried to get a grip on himself before he completely lost it. His eyes fluttered closed when Adam began grinding his leg against Sauli's. He started panting again in his ear and Sauli gripped his thigh tighter. "Shit." He whispered through his teeth. "Adam." 

      Adam's head dropped down to the base of Sauli’s throat. His tongue flicked over Sauli's Adam's apple and his hand started roaming until it stopped at Sauli's upper thigh, taking his hand off. Sauli's hand immediately found Adam's leg, and grabbed it. "Relax, Sauli. Isn't that what you told me?" He whispered, back at Sauli's ear. "How ironic because it appears you can't relax either." 

         He nipped at Sauli's ear and Sauli's hips lurched forward, accidently kicking the officer's seat in front of him. The officer turned around but Adam was once again motionless against Sauli and Sauli was staring out the window like nothing had happened.

   Adam's hand slowly slid under himself until he found Sauli's erection through his jeans. He squeezed once and Sauli yelped a little at contact. The officer frowned and Sauli smiled apologetically.

   "Sorry. He's a biter when he sleeps." Adam smirked against Sauli's shirt and the cop turned back around, uncomfortable. Adam stilled the rest of the ride, occasionally brushing his hand against Sauli's erection again and causing him to wince at the slight friction. 

      "We were requested to leave you two at a hotel. We're still looking for Jace and we can't have you two being at home and risking being seen by fans, or worse, killed by Jace. There will be two officers here at night to make sure everything runs smoothly. You'll be safe here. If something is wrong, call us and we'll get you out of there." The officer says, turning towards Sauli as the car stops at a hotel. He nodded, unable to speak as Adam once again, brushed against his crotch silently.

     "Thank you officer." He squeaked. He nudged Adam. "Adam, wake up." Adam pretended to stir and slowly sat up, smirking at Sauli before getting out the car. They wasted no time getting inside the hotel and getting a key. Adam's hands gripped Sauli's hips and grinded against him as Sauli fumbled with unlocking the door. He heard it click and quickly turned around to face Adam.

    Adam still grinded against him and their erections brushed against each other through their jeans. Sauli gasped at the contact and Adam threw his head back a minute. He couldn't take it anymore. He lifted Sauli up and attacked his lips.

   Sauli wrapped his legs around Adam's waist and grinded against him again. Adam almost dropped Sauli and moaned into his mouth at contact. Kicking the door open, Adam walked blindly inside the apartment, kicking the door shut. He pressed Sauli against the wall, grinding furiously against him.

      Their tongues battled for dominance and Adam broke away after a minute. "You've forgotten your place." He said, his voice low and husky. "Do you think you can overpower me?" Sauli blinked at him with a mischievous smile and nodded slowly. Adam grinded against him again and Sauli's smile faded, replaced with a moan, and Adam seized the opportunity to carry Sauli towards the bed. They fell back onto the mattress, and Adam flipped them over until he was on top.

    Sauli immediately shed his shirt and pulled off Adam's. They chucked their pants in random directions. Sauli traced a hand on Adam's chest, feeling his smooth skin. There was no preparation. There was no time. Adam was becoming sexually frustrated and he didn't even think about it. And it didn't really cross Sauli's mind either.

      The day turned into evening and Adam rocked into Sauli for about the 5th time that night. Sauli's eyes fluttered, glazed over as he arched, taking Adam. He was consumed with this feeling that he couldn't describe. Here he was, in Los Angeles with the man he had been mourning for over a decade, a man that was supposed to be dead. He had moved back to Finland, distracted himself with raising his brother.

   There was no mention of his past. Ever. And here he was, giving everything he has to offer to a man who had been broken for so long. A man who had been put through hell more than once in his life, had seen things that would make the Devil himself turn away in disgust, but here he was. He was here for himself, and for Sauli.

      Adam collapsed on Sauli after filling him past his breaking point. Sauli had already reached his high minutes ago. "Are you okay?" Adam whispered after a minute. Sauli felt his lips tug into a smile, a genuine smile, and he nodded lazily. "I love you."

     Adam smiled into Sauli's shoulder. "I love you too."

   Towards midnight, Sauli was awoken by Adam flinching in his sleep. His face was pained. He was having a nightmare. Sauli reached over and placed a hand on top of Adam's balled up fist, working his way until Adam unclenched his fist.

   Sauli rolled closer to him until he was pressed against him. He must've recognized Sauli's touch, because Adam relaxed a fraction before wrapping an arm around Sauli, bringing him closer. Sauli smiled softly as he fell back asleep.


	12. A/N

The first chapter of my new fanfic is up! It's called "Burn". Hope you enjoy it!!


	13. Thirteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Take Back", by Adam Lambert

 

 

   "Do you remember the first time we collided?" Sauli whispered in the dark. He was surprised when Adam answered back almost immediately. 

 "When we were young and stupid?" Adam laughed softly. "And you sent my case to court and got me out?" Adam smiled at the memory. "Yeah, I remember."

    "It seems like forever ago. We were  so different. Happy. We lost it." 

     "You're not happy now?"

    "I'm happy that you're alive."

    "Who said I was dead?"

   "Adam," Sauli sat up. " _I_ thought you were dead. I came home one day and you're gone. What was I supposed to think? That you went for a ten year walk? The search teams quit after a few weeks, but I didn't. I believed you were somewhere. And I can't even describe to you how I felt when I found you in that club, that very same club with the same owner that wanted both of us dead. And I just couldn't believe you were back."

      "Sauli, you know why I went back."

      "No, actually, I don't." The conversation was turning serious. Part of Sauli wanted to stop talking, but he had things to say. And he knew Adam did too. "I don't know why you left and ended up back to where you started. You told me you wouldn't go back." Now Adam was sitting up, and Sauli could only see the outline of his white t-shirt.

     "Sauli, I don't want to talk about it."

      "Well I do. Because everything you've told me is a lie."

     "You think what I told you is a lie?" Pain and shock laced his voice. 

      "You went missing! You went missing and didn't even tell me where you were when you called. And when I ask questions, you get pissed and tell me to drop it. I ask questions because I love you and I'm afraid you're hiding something from me."

 "Are you afraid of losing me?" Adam blurted out. Sauli was silent. 

    "Sauli, you know I love you. And you know I'll do anything for you."

     "Adam, I lost you once. I don't want to lose you again. I can't take it anymore. It's hurting me, it's hurting you, and someone's going to end up leaving if it continues."

    Adam was silent, and Sauli continued. "What did I say when I first met you in that prison? Tell me what I said."

    "You told me I could trust you."

      "And do you not believe it?"

     "I do! It's just--" It's taken them this long to be honest with each other.

     "What is it? What is it that is so bad that you can't tell me?"

      "Sauli drop it."

    "No! I'm not dropping it. I'm tired of you shutting me out. I'm trying to understand, but how can I when you barely say a word to me? I don't understand. We've been through so much shit together, and how am I supposed to react when I find you ten years later, selling yourself again and shutting me out?"

     "I didn't ask you to find me." Adam said through his teeth. 

     "No, you didn't." Sauli replied flatly. "And I'm starting to wonder why I didn't just leave you alone." He got up and pulled on his jeans. Grabbing his phone after he tied his shoes, Sauli opened the door and walked out, shutting it firmly behind him. 

     Although he was more than 20 paces ahead, Sauli could hear Adam behind him. He increased his pace. Soon he was literally running down the hall. He ran past the receptionist desk and bolted out the door into the darkness. It was bitterly cold but it only increased his rage. He swiped at his eyes, not allowing himself to cry. He started walking down the sidewalk. Adam was still behind him and it pissed him off.

    "Why can't you just leave me alone?" He whispered, not loud enough for Adam to hear. Thinking fast, Sauli sprinted down the street, turning sharply at a corner. Thanks to his years in the police squad, Sauli was fit and didn't tire easily. He ran until he was sure Adam was gone before pressing his body against a brick wall in an alley. The streets were deserted. Sitting down, Sauli pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes, trying to stop the tears. He was _not_ going to cry.

    Adam had put him through hell, and Sauli didn't know if he could take any more. He wanted to leave; go home and take care of his brother. Right now, who knows where Karani is at. But that one little piece of his damn mind wanted to stay. He loved Adam, he really did. And he just wants the best for him. So would leaving be the best thing to do for both of them? His mind wandered back.

No.

  

     Sauli had spent 10 years without Adam, and during those years Adam took care of himself. And Sauli took care of his brother. But if Sauli left, things would be even worse. Adam had stopped cutting years ago, but they both knew Adam was crazy enough to do it again, and perhaps take it farther than before. And it's not like someone was there to keep an eye on Adam. Both men had bat shit mothers, and Sauli's mother was dead anyway. Leila was still in prison. There was no one there to take care of Adam--

    His head snapped up at the sound of footsteps. He froze, pulling his knees to his chest and wrapping his arms around his legs. He shrunk farther into the alley as the footsteps grew closer to Sauli. He held his breath as the person walked right by the alley. Adam.

   He let out the air when Adam was no longer in sight and Sauli stood up. "What am I going to do?" He whispered to the brick wall, because he really didn't know. He walked farther back in the alley, unaware of the person walking towards him from behind. He rested his head on a fence.

   Then he spoke. "Sauli."

    He jumped a mile, whipping around. Ink black hair, freckled lips and deep, clean blue eyes suddenly step into his vision. Adam was worn and thin...but he was standing there. "Sauli, what are you doing?" Sauli turned away from him, looking through the fence. He could maybe outrun Adam, if he turned around quick enough.

    But he also knew Adam would have to take one step with those stupid long legs and he'd already be caught up with Sauli. He was trapped mentally and physically, and he hated it. He turned his back towards Adam and slumped down to his knees, clinging to the fence. Part of him hoped Adam would leave. Minutes passed and Adam still hasn't moved.

     "Sauli, I'm not leaving without you."

Sauli closed his eyes, fighting the urge to slam his own head against the wall multiple times. Why was it so hard to understand? It was simple. Leave. But Adam was too stubborn. And he was making it a lot harder on Sauli's decision to leave or not. He didn't want to leave because he _loved_ Adam. And a long time ago, they only had each other. But that was also a time where Adam wasn't afraid to tell Sauli what was on his mind. "Sauli, look at me."

   He looked up although his mind screamed at him not to, and Sauli realized he should've listened to his mind. Was it Adam? Sure. But was it Sauli's Adam? No. Sauli was staring into the eyes of a stranger with the same features of his lover. And Sauli knew that whatever he tried, Adam would never be the same again. That was it, then.

    He stood up, avoiding Adam's gaze as he began walking towards the opening of the alley. He was almost there when Adam's voice rang out clear in the street. "So that's it, then? You're leaving?" The breaking tone in his voice was almost enough to make Sauli stop in his tracks, turn around and run back to Adam and say no. But the only thing it was able to do was stop Sauli from walking.

     It seemed like time stopped as he felt Adam's eyes on him and for a minute, there was no sound in the alley. But that minute passed and Sauli turned his head, not completely, but just a little towards Adam's direction. "That's it." He said softly. And without looking back, Sauli walked out of the alley.

 

 *****

     Sauli hasn't seen Kaitlyn in a while. Last time he saw her, they were in the club. He knew where she still lived, but that was about it. She was still living in west Hollywood, surprisingly, in a one bedroom apartment. It's not hard to find her house. Hesitating at her door, Sauli noticed how quiet it was.

     But he needed Kaitlyn. He didn't know what to do anymore. He push inside. The room is dark, but Sauli can see Kaitlyn slumped over at a table, head down, with a lit cigarette in one hand, and a bottle of alcohol in the other. “Kaitlyn." he murmurs as he approached her. “Wake up.” He shakes her awake and she stares up at him, blinking. 

     “Well, well, well. Look who it is.” Her eyebrows furrow together. “Sauli Koskinen."

    “Hi Kaitlyn," he says as he sits down.

    “Thought you were with Adam.”

    “I was.”

   “So let me guess. He doesn't want to be fixed.” Sauli looked down.

    "I don't know what to do."

    "What have you done so far?"

   "I left."

   "Right, because leaving solves everything. Have you learned nothing?"

   "He left first. It was my choice to find him. But now I wonder if I shouldn't have looked for him." Kaitlyn clicks on a light and draws on her cigarette. Dark circles surrounded her eyes. She sat back down at the table and looked at her friend.

  "Your door was unlocked." Sauli said, changing the subject. "Do you not lock it anymore?"

"I lock it. But I knew you were coming, so I left it open."

    "How did you know I was coming?" Kaitlyn looked at him.

"Adam told me. Called me about five minutes before you showed up, bawling. Do you even want to know his state of being?"

    "I just saw him ten minutes ago, what the hell is he doing?" 

   "Well, apparently he called Tommy, his friend who was also in captivity with him and told Tommy he wanted to die. So Tommy came over and..." She trailed off. 

    "Kaitlyn, what did Adam do?" Sauli asked. 

     She bit her lip and tilted her phone towards Sauli. He frowned when a video began playing. There was a noise in the back of the video, like a siren. A voice was speaking, and Sauli recognized it as Tommy. "Adam, what is it?" He said. The siren only answered him. "Adam, talk to me." The siren wasn't actually a siren, it was actually Adam. He sounded like he was crying. Sauli's stomach churned. "Adam!" Tommy's voice was much clearer now. The video ended there. Kaitlyn pulled the phone back.

     "You know Sauli, I've seen you do some stupid things. But this could possibly be the stupidest thing you've ever done. No matter how bad things get, you never are supposed to leave. Especially him. I don't care if he murdered the president, Sauli. You don't know what he's capable of." Her phone vibrated.

     She looked down. "Goddamn it!" She stood up and opened her window, flicking the remains of her cigarette out. "Tommy texted me and said Adam's gone. He was there when Tommy was there and when he came back, Adam was gone. Come on."

   She growled, shutting the window and pulling on a jacket. "We're going to find him."  She pulled him out of the apartment and to her car. "I'll drive. Tommy's going to meet us at Clark Ave."

    Sauli shook his head. "I never meant for this to happen."

          "Well it _is_ happening, so sit down and deal with it. I get it, you two have survived an unusual amount of things. Adam left, and you two were fine. And then you had to come back with your hell-bent attitude to fix a man who doesn't want to be fixed. You can't force someone to fix themselves. You don't even know why he left." She rolled her eyes and Sauli looked at her. "You know why Adam left?" She rolled her eyes again. "Yeah, I do leave my house sometimes."

            "Why did he leave?" Kaitlyn glanced at him before looking back at the road. "It's not my story to tell. You're going to have to ask him if we find him. I can't believe you left, Sauli. But then again, I'm not that surprised. One thing doesn't go your way and what's your first instinct? Run. Typical." She didn't speak for the rest of the ride, and Sauli didn't have any words.

    Her hostile attitude did knock some realization into him. He shouldn't have left Adam. He _should've_ stayed, but now Adam was gone and Sauli might not get him back. Kaitlyn's phone vibrated again.

"Tommy?" She said as she answered the phone. Her foot slammed down on the breaks a minute later, almost sending Sauli into the windshield. "You found him?" She said. "Okay. We'll be right there." She tossed her phone in the backseat and sped off.

*****

   

    She stopped at a closed restaurant and cut the engine. Getting out of the car, Sauli and Kaitlyn approached a black tinted Audi. Tommy leaned against the side of the car, his blond fringe glowing in the dark street. "What the hell happened to you?" Kaitlyn asked as she brushed some of his hair from his face. His lip was red and bleeding, and bruises dotted the side of his face.

 "I found Adam here, balled up and crying. He tried running from me and I tackled him." Tommy sounded out of breath.

     "Where is he?"

  "In the backseat. I had to tie him up because he kept swinging at me." He narrowed his eyes at Sauli. "Why you left him in a state like this, I'll never know."

   "Is he still crying?" Kaitlyn asked. Tommy shrugged and opened the door to the backseat. Adam was hunched over, eyes shut and body trembling. 

    "Here. You need talk to him." Tommy said, motioning to Sauli. Taking a deep breath, Sauli crawled into the backseat and Tommy shut the door behind him. Sauli noticed Adam was trembling harder than before. Adam never expected him to come back to him.

   Not in the same way as before. He never expected him to show up. But he did. He hears him slid into the car next to him as Adam sits in his state of immobilization against the car door. Reluctantly, Adam looks up to see his face, afraid of what he’ll find.

    Sauli expects fear. Resentment. Anger. Hatred. What he really finds is something he can’t quite place. Adam's eyes are bloodshot and clouded, but less hard, less…dark. Sauli can see a mixture of emotions. He knows better than to look for affection, but maybe there’s a little bit of that too.

    Suddenly he feels a sharp stab of guilt because all of Adam's pain exists because of Sauli. He looks down and shake his head, half expecting Adam to scream at him. He expects to feel isolated. Instead, Sauli feels something he hasn’t felt in a long time; warmth. His hand on Adam's.

      Adam shudders, but not out of coldness, more out of… _shock_. A good relieving shock that instantly takes him back into a time that seemed like centuries ago. A time when two damaged boys fell in love and promised each other hope for the future. Adam dares to look up again, starving to take in every last bit of this moment. Then he drops his gaze. "I thought you were leaving." His voice was low.

     "I also thought I was straight at one point." Sauli replied.

     "You're not?"

    "No, Adam, frankly I'm not. And I'll tell you why." He thought back for a moment. "Let's see, I was about eighteen, and I was graduating from high school soon. Unfortunately, my neighbor was murdered one night and I was framed for it and sent to prison. Can you believe that? I lost my entire future. For the first few hours in the prison, everyone left me alone. Then I met this boy. He was around my age, with these beautiful blue eyes and ink black hair. He was scary as hell, though. I think his name was Adam.

    "He tried to kill me when I first crossed paths with him. Now, any other normal person would stay far away from this dude, but not me. I wanted to hear his story. I was fascinated by this man. And although I was supposedly straight, I found myself attracted to this man. So anyway, a couple of weeks past and he ended up saving my life from another prisoner. That was shocking.

   "The most feared man in prison was saving my life. I just couldn't believe it. I remember looking at his determined face and I knew I was a goner from there. I didn't see Adam again until a few weeks later, and I started talking to him. I had explained to him that we were supposed to stick together and that was when he broke down right in front of me. It pained me to see him cry. He ended up telling me everything.

    "It was interesting to see someone so beautiful in so much pain. From then on, we did a whole lot of shit together. Some more memorable than others." He smiled. "And I had completely fallen head over heels for this man. He was my everything. But then, after we both were free...my love left.

     "And at first, I thought he was dead. That some miserable homophobe didn't like seeing other people happy, so they took Adam away from me to make me as miserable as them. The search teams quit after a few weeks, but I didn't. I was so broken, but I never let myself believe he were dead. Then about ten years later, I saw my love again. After a full decade, we found each other again.

     "But he wasn't mine anymore. He had changed beyond recognition. Even changed his name to Viper. And at first, I was angry. I was angry that he left me and went back to what he used to do. And I tried fixing him. I was so caught up on fixing myself by fixing him, that I didn't realize what I was doing to him. I was trying to put us back into the past when we were happy, trying to convince myself that he would go back to normal.

     "Eventually, I had given up. I thought that there was no way to help Adam, and I left, which was the worst thing I did. I was furious. I wanted him to feel the pain I felt when he left me, but I didn't realize at the time why he left in the first place. I now know why he left. Adam left because he was protecting me. There was a man who wanted us both dead, and Adam didn't want that.

    "He loved me too much to see me get hurt or killed by that man, so he left. I shouldn't have left. I should've stayed. But I ran, and I've hurt my love even more than before." He couldn't say anymore as he hid his face and sobbed. He could hear Adam crying equally as hard. After several minutes passed and several moments of crying between the two of them, Sauli looked over at Adam. His eyes were still shut as tears trailed down his face, and he was twisting his hands together.

       "I'm sorry." Adam rasped after a minute. "I want...I love you so much. And I will give anything to chase the dark away and start all over again. Just please...don't leave me. I will try to fix myself."

       Sauli slid his hand between Adam's  and Adam opened his eyes. He dared to look at Sauli. Something flickered across his bloodshot eyes. Hope. Hope for the future, hope for _him_. And if he tried, he could chase that darkness away and start over again. But it would take time. And Adam knew he'd have his good days and his bad days. But he's willing to go through each painful day as long as Sauli's by his side.

   "So what should we do now?" Sauli asked, squeezing his hand.

   "Let's go home." Adam said, squeezing Sauli's hand back. "To chase the darkness away."

 

 

 


	14. Fourteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Would you like me to do an Adommy fanfiction or just stick with Saulbert? It may take a while to think of a plot if I do the Adommy one, but if you want me to, I might be able to do 3 fanfics at the same time=) Just let me know.

    They both were feeling ridiculously inspired the next morning. They didn't sleep, considering it was almost 3am when they arrived back at the hotel. Then they had to deal with the two cops parked outside, which they had completely forgotten about. Sauli explained they needed some air and after a 10 minute lecture on why the cops were there in the first place, Sauli and Adam were back in the hotel room.

     It was like this fog of anger, sadness and guilt that had been surrounding both of them has vanished, leaving two people to fix what has been lost. When morning arrived, they were ordered to stay in the hotel. Because Jace was still on the loose, the police didn't want Adam and Sauli to be vulnerable in case he pulled one of his attacks. They spent the morning just lying together in bed.

     Sauli turned over so he could see Adam's face. His eyes were closed and Sauli traced a thumb gently under his eye. Adam's eyes fluttered before opening. "What are you thinking about?" He asked.

   "How beautiful you are." Sauli answered, his accent suddenly thick. Adam blushed and rolled his eyes.

    "You're silly." Adam's eyes closed again and Sauli's hands traveled up to his hair. Adam's hair still had traces of blond in his tips, although most of it has faded into the thick black mess. His hand traveled down to his eyebrows, which were also black. Adam nuzzled into his touch and Sauli smiled softly. From his eyebrows, his hands moved to Adam's lips. 

     His breathing was slow and steady, a sign that he was sleeping. Adam looked peaceful in his sleep. He looked more like that 18 year old man Sauli first met. God, was that really ten years ago?

     Sliding his hand down, Sauli's hand lay on top of Adam's. Right before he drifted off to sleep, he felt Adam's fingers lace through his, and a soft smile appeared on his lips. 

 

   *****

      They were finally able to leave the hotel 3 days later, after the police assured them that Jace would not be finding them any time soon. He wasn't caught, but the police have tracked him down and are on their way to arrest him. 

    "Once we arrest him and take him into custody, Adam you will have to give your testimony, which also means giving a public statement that you're alive." Here's the thing. After the Idol tour, Adam basically vanished off the grid. Everyone assumed he was still missing. Or dead. The media was going to explode. 

     "How do you know Jace isn't working with anyone?" Sauli asked.

       "He was. We arrested 3 men who identified themselves as "hitmen" for Jace. They're in custody as well. We're going to send Jace to court and have him sent to jail." Sauli and Adam exchanged glances. They had been to court before. And neither wanted to go back. 

     After a taxi dropped them off at Adam's house, Adam had been silent. Something was bothering him. When they had made it inside, Adam dragged Sauli straight to his bedroom. He practically dove under the sheets, and motioned for Sauli. He sauntered to the other side of the bed and climbed in. 

     Adam immediately buried his head in Sauli's chest, wrapping his arms around the smaller man. Sauli's hands instinctively went to Adam's hair, smoothing it. He didn't know Adam was crying until he felt his body start to tremble. "Adam," he whispered. At first he didn't understand what was wrong.

     But as he began to think, it made sense. Adam didn't want to go to court, to face what had happened. He didn't want it to be publicly announced, to be a case. He wanted to sit in silence and pretend nothing had happened. He wanted to forget. 

      "Sauli, I'm scared." His voice was barely above a whisper but it still gave Sauli a chill. Adam had endured hell most of his life. He had seen it all and everything afterwards. But to hear him say he was scared was something that scared Sauli himself.

   It didn't take him long to fall asleep. He had cried himself out. His arms were still wrapped around Sauli like a vice. Right before he went to sleep, he would have these moments. He'd cry for 5 minutes, then stop and seem okay. Then he'd cry again for 20 minutes straight. It was like he was falling apart all over again. 

      When Adam had woken up, Sauli had fallen asleep. He didn't move from his position. He could see how exhausted Sauli looked. Dark circles surrounded his eyes, and he looked slightly pale. It was his fault. If he hadn't thrown Sauli into the middle of this, he wouldn't look like this. He'd be talking care of his brother in Finland. He had made changes for Adam. Now it was time for him to make changes for Sauli.

 ****

 

     "What is this?" Sauli asked as he pulled a box out from underneath the bed. Adam glanced down at the box and his eyes widened. "Oh no." He said.

   "What is it?"

   "Just a bunch of old CDs." Adam looked uncomfortable. 

    "You wrote these." Sauli said as he read the back of one titled "WWFM". Adam's cheeks flushed red.

   "Yes." He admitted. "Some are studio versions from Idol but others are just demos."

    "Can I hear them?"

Adam shook his head. "They're not good."

     "Bullshit, I remember your voice. Please?"

    "There's no audio." Adam tried. "It's just me. No piano, guitar, drums, nothing. Just me."

    "Even a better way of hearing you. Please?" Adam looked unsure. Unable to wait any longer, Sauli placed the CD into the stereo. He looked back at Adam and Adam relucuantly nodded after a minute. 

     There was no music. It didn't need any. Adam made his own rythm, his own beat. The song was almost enough to bring Sauli to the floor. 

    _"Hey, slow it down. Whataya want from me?"_

     "Adam," Sauli breathed. 

     "Wait," Adam said. "This is the chorus."

    " _Just don't give up. I'm working it out. Please don't give in. I won't let you down. It messed me up. Need a second to breathe. Just keep coming around. Hey, whataya want from me_?"

     His voice sounded raw and pure. Sauli knew Adam could sing, but he didn't know Adam could sing like _that_. When the song had finished, Adam was looking down, face red.

   "Adam, you have to get this song out there. This is amazing." Adam looked up at him.

    There. He did it again. Giving Sauli that small, shy smile that rarely made an appearance anymore. "How long have you had this?"

      "A few months." He looked away shyly. 

      "I love it."

      "Really?" Sauli nodded and Adam gave him that smile again. 

     

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> & if you want me to do the Adommy fanfiction, what type do ya'll want it to be? (Creepy, happy, depressing, high school etc)


	15. Fifteen

             He didn't understand it. Not at all. How could someone be _that_ in love with a demo? No music, and yet, Sauli still loves it! Adam didn't understand it. It would be different if the CD was even finished. But he's been humming it since last night. 

           "Why do you like that song so much?" Adam asked as they explored the backyard. The afternoon sun felt warm on Adam's skin, and it made Sauli's hair look lighter than usual. Sauli paused his humming and looked over. "Because," he stated. "The lyrics really speak to me. I can't really explain it."

          "What part of the lyrics?"

       He paused again. 

         "In the second verse when you say _'It's me. I'm a freak. But thanks for loving me, because you're doing it perfectly.'_ It kind of gives me chills." Then he flashed a smile. "I really like it, Adam. I hope one day you decide to release it so others can get chills too." He couldn't help smiling back. 

       Adam sat down in the grass as Sauli continued to walk around. He couldn't stop thinking about what he said. He genuinely liked the song. That was obvious. But would others like it? That's what Adam was afraid of. He didn't want to just release a song that sucked ass but yet people still still buy because it's music; he wanted people to think about the song and the meaning. He wanted to open their eyes. 

       He wanted to make music. That was the entire point of auditioning for Idol wasn't it? But he also knew his personal life would just vanish. Everyone would know everything about him, and that was a scary thought. He didn't want to lie, he had always been honest and open about his life. He didn't have anything to hide. 

      He could do it, maybe if he worked hard enough. He ran a hand down the length of his favorite jeans. Recording it wouldn't be a problem. Right before he vanished, someone had wanted to sign Adam to a record deal after Idol. He hadn't said yes, but he hasn't said no either. He remembers the producer of Idol giving him the record deal's number. Could he do it? 

      He looked back up at Sauli as he looked lost in his own world. A small smile pulled at his lips. He could do it. Not for himself, but for Sauli, considering everything he's done for Adam. Sauli deserved to be happy. Adam could never repay what Sauli has done for him, but he could at least give him this. 

   

       ***

         "Adam, I swear to God if you don't tell me where we're going, I'm going to make you wreck."

      Adam smiled over at him before returning to the road. "That'd be pretty ignorant of you, considering you'd kill both of us before I got to show you my surprise."

      "Last time you said you had a 'surprise' for me, you almost fucked me through a wall."

      "Are you complaining?"

      ".....No, but--"

    "Look, we're almost there. Is your blindfold on?"

     "Unfortunately."

     "Keep it on. If you peek, I'll staple your hands together." Sauli growled and Adam smiled again, amused at his frustration. It was hell getting him inside the car. Sauli had protested when Adam refused to tell him where they were going.

       When Adam asked him to trust him, Sauli stopped struggling, but it resumed when Adam attempted to blindfold him. He had already tied his hands together. Eventually he might need a straitjacket.

      Sauli pulled at his restraints again and Adam looked over. "You better stop before your wrists become raw."

      "Too late." Sauli growled. A few minutes later, Adam stopped the car.

       "We're here." He said. 

       "Good. Now get this shit off me." 

       "I'll remove your restraints, but not the blindfold. Not yet."

      " _Adumb_." Sauli whined, drawing out the syllables in his name.

     Adam laughed. "I promise it won't be long. Give me your hands." 

       Adam untied his hands and helped him out of the car. "Wait right here for a minute." He said, stopping at the studio door. Sauli nodded and Adam went inside.

     "Adam!" Aubrey Clarkson, owner of RRC, the record label that wanted to sign him,  said as she pulled him into a hug. "It's been a long time." She didn't know he had been missing for the past month. "How are you?"

      Adam smiled. "I'm great. I brought my boyfriend Sauli today. He was the one that inspired me to do it."

      "Great, bring him in." He turned around and went back outside to a very impatient Sauli, and guided him inside. 

      "Aubrey, this is Sauli."

      "Sauli, hi." Aubrey shook his hand. 

     "I would day _'nice to see you'_ but I can't see,  so I apologize." 

      "He's blindfolded because I wanted to surprise him. He has no idea where he's at." Adam explained. Aubrey nodded and silently motioned him to follow her. Adam took Sauli's hand in his and led him down a hall filled with pictures of different artists. A few were Mariah Carey, Fergie, and Lil Wayne. 

     "Here, we'll use this room." Aubrey stepped into a studio room and motioned Adam to follow. Adam led Sauli to a chair and sat him down. 

      "Ready?" His pulse quickened. Sauli nodded, and Adam untied his blindfold. Stepping back, he waited for his reaction. Sauli blinked at the lights, and looked around. At first he didn't get it. Then he saw the glass window that had a pair of headphones and a microphone inside. 

      "You're recording the songs?" He exclaimed. Adam nodded and Sauli pulled him into a tight hug. "Why?"

      "Because," he said once he released him. "You inspired me to do it. I want to make music."

      "Adam, do you have your demos?" Aubrey asked.

     Adam nodded. "I only brought 2, just to see how these go."

      "Have you got an idea of how you want the first song to go?" 

       "I kind of want a band. Is that possible?"

       "Absolutely. We can hold auditions as early as tomorrow if you want. Do you have any people that you'd already like?" Adam thought back. 

        "I remember a long time ago, I had two friends who played guitar. Maybe one can play the bass instead."

        "Can you give me their names?"

       "Tommy Ratliff and Monte Pittman."

       "Great. I'll track them down. Now, tell me how you want the first song to go."

      They sat down and everyone, including Sauli, bounced ideas off each other. Adam played the first demo, and Aubrey suggested that he should have a guitarist, bassist, keyboardist, drummer, and anything else he wanted. 

      "Want to do a tour?" Aubrey blurted out. Adam looked up in surprise.

       "I can do that?"

        "Absolutely. If we can get these songs recorded, and at least six others, we could do an album, see how it's sells, and go from there. If it sells well, you'll start doing interviews, appearances, and traveling." 

        "I have four other demos that I recorded after Idol. I can bring those in as well."

         "Great! Now tell me, what do you want the album name to be?" Adam thought back. Most of the names of his demos didn't  sound like album name material, but then he remembered a somewhat erotic song he had written a long time ago. The title sounded like it needed to be on an album.

          "For Your Entertainment," he said with a smile. 

 

 

      


	16. Sixteen

* * *

        "I'm so tired." Adam groaned as he slumped against the steering wheel. Sauli laughed. 

     "I would be too if I sang like that all day. I'm surprised your throat isn't sore from all that screaming."

     Adam smiled sarcastically at him. "Very funny. You may not scream in songs, but you scream in other ways."

     He smiled at Sauli, moved closer and arched an eyebrow and Sauli pushed him away with another laugh. "Pervert." Adam grinned again and started the car, pulling out of the parking lot. 

     In San Diego, the sun was just beginning to set. The sunsets were the first thing that Sauli loved about LA when he moved here. The colors blended together to create a unique blend of life. He glanced over at Adam. His sillouetto seemed to glow in the darkening sky. His eyes were focused on the road, unaware of Sauli's staring. 

      Adam still looked as young as ever. Recently, he had been experimenting with different hair dyes. He still kept his ink black hair, but Sauli noticed a few slivers of blue that blended at the front. His face was clear and natural, free from any makeup, which he's only worn on a few occasions, and his skin had gotten a little tan.

     Sauli noticed the sleeve of tattoos Adam had began to sport up his left arm, which was pretty impressive considering for the longest time, Adam hated needles. It dawned on Sauli of how much of Adam's life he  had missed.

    Sauli was always fond of Adam's voice, but to hear Adam sing one of his demos in the studio...that peaceful look that had taken over as he closed his eyes and sung...it made Sauli realize how much he really loved Adam. He had always loved Adam, even after he left, but it was like he was experiencing it all over again, like they had traveled 10 years back to being eighteen and in love for the first time.

      Noticing Sauli's gaze, Adam looked over. "Admiring my looks?" He grinned. Sauli blinked.

      "Oofta," he blurted out. A minute passed before they both burst out laughing. 

     "What the hell?" Adam's shoulders shook as he laughed, hard, and he actually had to pull over so he wouldn't wreck. He rested his head against the wheel as their laughter filled the car. When they finished, Sauli's muscles in his stomach were sore and Adam was wiping tears away from his face. 

     "What the hell does that even mean?" Adam asked as he began laughing again. 

    "I don't know! I just said it," Sauli struggled to stop giggling. 

     Adam shook his head with a smile as he began driving again. "I'd tattoo that."

     "Really?" 

    "Yep. It's so stupid but it's hilarious. I've never heard that before." He smiled. When Adam pulled up to the apartment building, he parked the car and got out.

     Adam flashed a smile at the receptionist, who had been eyeing him since they've walked in. When he smiled at her, a blush creeped up her neck and she ducked her head down.

     When they reached their door, Adam looked at Sauli. "Do you have the key?" He deadpanned. Sauli shook his head and his eyes widened. Adam grinned and pulled out the key a minute later. Sauli punched him in the arm.

     "Not funny."

   Adam unlocked and opened the door with a smile. After Sauli came inside, Adam shut and locked the door again. He went into the bathroom to study his face in the mirror. Sauli's voice drifted to him a minute later. "Hey, Adam?"

    "Yeah?" He asked, running a hand down a new patch of freckles that appeared on his shoulder from the sun.

    "Can you come here for a minute?" Noticing his strangely too calm tone, Adam shut off the light and appeared into the room. Sauli was standing by the window, his back towards Adam. 

    "What is it?" He asked, standing beside him and trying to spot where Sauli was staring. 

     "Down below." Adam looked down and he noticed a man standing in front of the hotel, staring directly at Adam. He squinted at the man, for he was too far away for Adam to see his face. The man stared at Adam. Then smiled. Adam knew that smile. He knew that face. There was something in his hand, and it was—

      "Sauli, get down!" Adam yelled as the man raised the gun. He yanked at Sauli's hand and crashed to the floor as the window shattered. Moving fast, Adam crawled to the beds, avoiding glass, and pushed Sauli underneath one. Pounding feet were heard in the hallways, and people were shouting and screaming. 

      Sauli had hit his head when Adam pulled him to the ground, and right now, he was unconscious. There was pounding on the door and someone yelling for them to open the door. There was no way Adam could fit underneath the same bed.

    He would have to slide underneath the other one. He had just enough time to shove some pillows underneath the covers to stage it as if they were asleep. Adam crawled underneath the other bed and held his breath.

    He could see Sauli's hand slightly peeking out from underneath the bed. If the people see his hand, they're screwed. The door was kicked open, sounding a loud bang into the room. Adam froze.

     Different pairs of feet stepped into the room and walked around. Adam shifted a bit, trying to push Sauli's hand underneath the bed before anyone saw it. _Sauli, please wake up,_ he pleaded silently. 

      His mind flashes back to about 19 years ago when he was just 9 years old. Adam's mother had been more violent than usual. She didn't know Adam had somehow escaped from the closet, and was hiding under the bed. When she found him, she nearly beat him to death, while assulting him in the process. 

     Right now, he could feel the same emotions he felt back then. His pulse quickened and his entire body trembled with fear. He noticed movement out of the corner of his eye and looked over. Sauli's hand moved slightly. Adam relaxed a fraction. _He was okay._ His hand moved underneath the bed when a pair of boots stood directly between the two beds. Adam held his breath.

 "This is a waste of fucking time." A man growled as he plopped down onto the bed Adam was hiding underneath. The mattress pressed uncomfortably into Adam's back and he winced. "He's not even here."

    "I saw them in the window." Another voice said from far away.

     "Well they're obviously not here." Another voice said. 

    "I don't care about the blonde. I want Adam. Jace says Adam is the main priority. If we catch the blonde, we'll take him in to use as bait. If Adam won't come to us, fine. I can guarantee he'll come for his boyfriend." One man snarled. The weight of the mattress Adam's back let up as the man stood. 

      "Well, neither are here so let's go."

        _Where were the two policemen who were supposed to be watching the door?_

      "Did you check underneath the beds?" A man asked.

       One snorted. "No, that'd just be a waste of time. There's no way he could fit underneath there. They probably got out when Aaron fired the shots."

      "Then let's go." One growled. The footsteps grew farther and farther away until Adam couldn't hear them anymore. Adam waiting ten minutes before moving. By now, sirens were wailing, coming from down the street.

    Oh sure, now they show up.

 

   Adam stood up, his legs complaining. He moved the entire bed that Sauli was underneath. "Sauli," Adam murmured, kneeling down by the man. He sat down and placed Sauli's head in his lap. "Darling, can you hear me?"

    He spoke softly, in case there were still some intruders in the building. Right now, Adam really didn't care. If anyone came into the room, Adam would kill them. 

     Adam stroked Sauli's blond hair, murmuring comforting words to him as the police arrived. "Are you injured?" One male paramedic asked as he shined a very irritating light in Adam's eyes. Adam pulled away, shaking his head. 

    "What happened?" He asked, motioned to Sauli. 

      "He hit his head."

    "Should we take him in?" 

        "No," Sauli mumbled, eyes closed and snuggling closer to Adam. "I'm fine."

      "Are you sure? You might have a concussion. I think it'd be best to take you in--"

     "I said I'm fine." His eyes opened. The paramedic stepped back.

     "Okay."

     "Adam?" Kaitlyn's voice wandered to him from the hallway and Adam looked up. She pushed past the officers and stood in front of them. "Well, well well. What a time to be alive! Look at you two getting along."

     Sauli rolled his eyes. "Kaitlyn are you wasted?"

     She shook her head with a smile. "Nope. I'm as sober as ever. Get up. Let's go."

    "Where are we going?" 

    Kaitlyn kicked at Adam and forced both men to get up."You ask too many questions. We're going to Canada. Now let's go."

    "Ma'am, you can't take these two anywhere. There was just a crime scene."

   "I'll have you know that I has specific permission from the Chief to take these two somewhere safe, and that's exactly what I'm planning to do. There are men looking for these two, and if they die, it'll be on your watch. That won't look good in the paper. You want to argue with me? Because I guarantee you'll lose." She arched an eyebrow, laying out the challenge. The officer shook his head. 

     "Carry on," he mumbled.

    Kaitlyn nodded once and grabbed Adam's hand, yanking both out of there. Sauli was unsteady on his feet, and stumbled here and there. Noticing his off state, Kaitlyn snagged a gurney and made Sauli lay down on it.

    "This is so illegal." Adam mumbled.

      "Says the boy who lived in a trafficking house for ten years." Kaitlyn answered, her tone clipped. Adam kept his mouth shut. Glass shards littered the floor and officers were questioning people. 

     "You're a cop. How in the hell does a cop get a concussion?" Kaitlyn growled as she brought Sauli to her car.

     "Oh shit. Sauli, what about your police force? I completely forgot about it." Adam asked.

     "Yeah, I did too." He mumbled. "Don't worry. I told them I needed some space. Whatever that means." Then he slumped against Adam. 

      "Shit," Adam said. 

     "Now what?" 

    "He fainted." Kaitlyn rolled her eyes.

   "Lay him across the seat, and sit with him so he doesn't puke. We need to leave." Kaitlyn pushed the gurney into the street and drove off. 

      "Why didn't you take him to get checked out?" 

     "He said he was fine!" 

    "Leave it to you two to fuck something up. Nevermind that, we'll fix it later. Right now I need to get you two off the grid." 

      "What are you—"

    "Adam please, I need you to trust me. Your life and Sauli's is in danger. I can't answer any questions right now. Please."

     Adam nodded. Stressed, Kaitlyn drove quickly and Adam watched the familiar streets go by. Sauli shifted a bit on Adam's legs and felt around for him. "Adam," he mumbled, looking for his hand. "Where are you?" 

     "I'm right here." He answered, running a hand through Sauli's hair. Sauli grabbed it and held it, snuggling closer to him. The car was silent, and soon the streets became less and less familiar to Adam. 

      _Where was she taking them?_

     Sirens suddenly blared from behind them. Kaitlyn glanced up. "Fuck," she hissed. "Adam, listen very carefully. In the back of the car, there's a tarp. Find it and crawl back there with Mr. Unconscious and hide underneath. We've got company. The tarp should be big enough to hide both of you. You might have to wake him up; I doubt you'll be able to get him back there like that. Hurry now." 

       "Sauli, I need you to stand up." 

        "Don't leave me." He mumbled.

       "I'm trying not to, but I'll have to if you don't move."

    He sat up. He crawled into the back of the car and Adam hauled himself back, throwing the tarp over them. "Adam I can't hold off any longer, I'm going to have to stop. Are you ready?"

      "No, but do it."

      The vehicle stopped. Hiding under a tarp wasn't the brightest plan, but it was either that or the risk that Kaitlyn won't tell. Car doors slammed. Adam could hear different voices speaking,  and he strained to hear the conversation. Meanwhile, Sauli was beginning to stir. 

    His hand brushed underneath the hem of Adam's shirt, and when Adam looked down, Sauli was giving him an unmistakably mischief smile. Adam shook his head once, a silent plea, but Sauli nodded and smiled again, arching an eyebrow.

    He pinched Adam's ass, and he jerked. "Prick," he murmured. Sauli smirked. Kaitlyn said something they couldn't hear. The voice responded. After a few minutes, Kaitlyn started the engine.

         "You're good," she whispered as she began driving again. Adam shot out from under the tarp like he was shot from a cannon.

   "What happened?" He asked as he climbed back into the backseat.

   Kaitlyn wiped the side of her mouth, staining her hand with her lipstick. "Nothing." She answered shortly. "Don't worry about it." She offered him a small smile. "We're almost there."

         Sauli mumbled something in Finnish.

       "Speak up Hannibal." Kaitlyn called.

         He repeated it, louder.

        Kaitlyn answered in Finnish.

      When Sauli replied again in Finnish, Kaitlyn cracked a smile.

     "What?" Adam asked.

   She looked at him. "I think your boy is looking for something." She glanced at his pants. Looked back up at Adam. Smiled innocently. "Something you might be currently... _blocking_." 

   His entire face blushed past his hairline. "Shut up,  just shut up." He mumbled, looking back at Sauli. "Get up here." 

      Flashing that stupid mischievous smile,  Sauli crawled into the backseat,  straddling Adam's hips. He pressed a kiss to his lips once. Twice. Searched his eyes. Smiled. 

      "Oh _hell_ no,  ya'll ain't about to get it on in my car. You better sit your asses up. You can do that later." Kaitlyn said.

     Sauli flipped her off.

    She stopped the car. "We're here." Kaitlyn murmured. 

 

 


	17. Seventeen

     When Kaitlyn was done explaining the events that would take place for the next three weeks, Sauli and Adam sat frozen to their chairs, blinking at her. Sauli's hand had since frozen on top of Adam's, ceasing his shaking and attempting to control his _own._ Kaitlyn's face remained emotionless and calm, her gaze shifting back and forth from one man to the other.

     When Sauli finally spoke, his tone came out weak and uncontrolled. "We're being _hunted_?"

     Adam flinched.  

   Kaitlyn nodded. There was no other way to put it. If she would've told them in the car, they probably would've jumped through the roof. "You guys are still in California, if that's what you're wondering. Just in the outskirts. But Jace's main concern is Adam.

    "But because we're not letting that happen; he's after Sauli as an attempt to push Adam forward. Sauli slipped out of his reach, just _barely_ , when Adam disappeared off the globe ten years ago. 

    "Jace had his boy back, so he didn't care about Sauli. But Adam left again because of Sauli, and Jace is back. It's not even about Adam not working anymore. Jace just wants him. And he plans on destroying everyone close to him until he finds him."

     Adam held his face in his hands. This information wasn't new to either one of them, but it was the next piece of information which threw them off. "Adam, Sauli.....Jace is planning to _murder_ you. Both of you."

     Adam sucked in a tight breath. Sauli blinked. Kaitlyn continued. "This is a safehouse. No one should find you. I brought six bags of your things, three bags each. If you need more, then let me know. There are two phones in the house that have my number. The calls will be untraced. You'll have to stay here until someone gets Jace into custody.

     "Don't worry about the heating and electric bills, I have it all handled. If you two need anything, call me. Unfortunately I cannot stay; I have someone to take care of."

    "Who?" Sauli asked. 

    "The bastard who's _fucking_ with my boys." She replied, her gaze momentarily becoming hard. "Adam, your record is on hold for now; I talked to Aubrey. I also got ahold of the Chief, Sauli. She's a little more than pissed since you completely left the entire force, but I explained the situation and she's somewhat understanding. Your brother is currently staying with his dad. Everyone is safe. Now we just need to focus on you two."

     Sauli pulled her into a hug. "Thank you Kaitlyn." 

     "It's my job to make sure you're safe. I love you both. Please stay safe, and don't do anything that'll exploit you."

     "You too, Kaitlyn."

    After she left, Sauli turned to Adam. He hasn't moved since Kaitlyn started talking. "This is all my fault." He whispered when Sauli placed a hand on his shoulder. Adam stood up. "I'm going outside for some air." He whispered, brushing past Sauli without looking at him. 

 

      *****

 

     Adam didn't come to bed until 1am. Even in the dark, Sauli could tell he had been crying. He sounded congested, and his breathing was unstable. When he left again, Sauli swung his legs over the side of the bed and followed him.

     When he reached the bottom of the stairs, he stopped and listened. Adam was sitting at the table in the dark, his head down. Sauli's footsteps barely registered a sound on the hardwood floor. He walked up behind him, hugging him from behind and resting his head on Adam's shoulder.

    "Sometimes..." Adam whispered after a minute. "Sometimes I think I'm finally doing something...and then it turns out I'm not really doing it at all."

     Sauli was silent.

     "No matter how many times we run, or hide, or fight..he's always going to be after us. After _me_. And this was never supposed to happen. He was never supposed to go after you." He cut himself off suddenly, covering his face with his hands.

     When he abruptly stood up and left again, Sauli followed him. Adam stormed into the bathroom, slamming on the lights. He glared at his reflection, blue irises standing out against his red-rimmed eyes. Sauli watched quietly from the doorway as Adam fists his dark hair at the roots, occasionally letting out a frustrated sob. 

    He moved to shut the door when he realized Sauli was standing there. He dropped his hand and turned back towards the mirror, pulling harder at his hair. When he dropped his hand again, Sauli noticed the handful of black strands Adam had in his fist

     When he reached for another handful of hair, Sauli stopped him, lowering his hand. "Hey," he said gently. "Stop. Everything is going to be okay."

    "It's not. It's like a razor blade edging its way through my organs, shredding me, and all I can think is: Jace will kill me, he will kill you, and you will leave me. And I don't know what to do. It’s a wonder I’m even alive. Sometimes I think that.

    "Eventually it was getting harder for me to feel… _anything_. I was starting to slip into the darkness. The numbness.

     "And the worst part is that it wasn’t even scary. I was losing myself, and I didn’t even care. Then I met you all over again,  just like 10 years ago and I'm eighteen again and experiencing these feelings all over again. And at first I didn’t understand what had happened. What had changed inside _myself._ My entire plan was to keep you safe by not keeping you at all.

     "But all I knew was that I wanted to be near you. Then you helped me with Jace, even though it nearly got you killed— _I_ nearly got you killed—and I started to understand how I had truely hurt you. But by then, you had moved on—one of few people in the whole world I still gave a damn about had moved on. So I tried to stay away. I tried so fucking  _hard_.”

     His voice cracked on the last word, and Sauli's heart cracked with it. Tears stood in his eyes, but Sauli  was afraid to let them fall. He was afraid to even breathe for fear of missing a single word.

   "But you kept pulling me back, no matter how many times I tried to resist. I think that I can’t believe I haven’t killed myself. But there’s something in me that just keeps going on. I think it has something to do with _you,_ that there is always you, and that everything can change when you are here.

     "And after everything I've done to you, you still came back for me. It's my fault. It's my fault we can never be seen in public without having to glance over our shoulders. Everything is my fault and I—"

     "It wasn't your fault that I came back to find you." Sauli reminded him quietly.

     "And to this day I'll never know why you did." Adam looked up at him. "I'm never going to understand why you broke me out of that prison and sent my mother to jail. I'll never know why you are so patient with my struggles and my attitude.

     "I'll never know why you searched for me, without even knowing if I were still alive. Why? Why do you continue to forgive me and what I've done?"

    Sauli's answer was simple. "Because I understand."

    Adam blinked at him.

    Sauli looked down at their intertwined hands, tracing patterns into Adam's hand. He shrugged. "I was at the hospital when I got the call from the force. She was dying, but I didn't plan on staying. I was only there to pick up my brother.

     "She apologized to me...before she died. She apologized to you. For everything she had done. She wanted me to hold her hand while she passed, but I was so angry. I was angry that she had destroyed my life, and had another child as an attempt to replace me. She wasn't equipped to be alone. But then again....I guess none of us are."

    He paused. "I never took her hand. I ran out. That was when I got the call. A little girl down in West Hollywood had been found alive. She had been missing for weeks. She told me the man who took her was her savior. He had saved her.

     "And for the longest time, I couldn't understand. She was barely found with anything on. She had a chain around her throat, but she insisted that we didn't arrest the man. That was like having a gun to my head and telling me not to let my heart beat. Of course it's going to beat. Of course we were going to arrest him. He had kidnapped her! But she raised hell in that hospital. It was like...she didn't even want to be freed. She was happy with the man."

    Adam was looking down at their hands, listening, so Sauli continued. "When Karani got into the car, he was furious at me. He didn't understand why I refused to hold her hand. She died as soon as I ran out. I told him that he didn't know what I went through, therefore he didn't understand. He looked me right in the eye and agreed with me, because he wasn't you.

      "At the very mention of your name, I wanted to hurl him out the window. By that time I had assumed you were dead. It was forbidden to ever bring up your name. It was such a touchy subject, and he knew it, so he said it as an attempt to get under my skin. It worked. 

    "Since then,  it had become my mission to find you. Dead or alive, I wanted to know where you were. I needed that closure. I wanted to find you alive more so than dead, and when I finally found you, this huge weight was lifted off my chest. 

   "I wanted nothing more than to jump into your arms and cry. But you weren't mine anymore. You were different. You looked happy, dancing, tattooed, holding snakes and drinking. It was the happiest I've ever seen you. Except when you were with me. 

    "You had changed your name, yet I continued to call you Adam. I tried to back off, because you weren't mine anymore. But I just couldn't envision ever leaving you, even for a minute."

     He looked up at him. "What I'm saying is, it's not your fault. I have just as much to be blamed for than you. And I'm not planning on leaving you."

    "But we'll never be able to settle down somewhere. Anywhere we go, we'll always be on some sort of run, hiding from someone." Adam whispered. 

     "They're going to hunt down Jace and everyone working for him, and they're going to lock them up. No one is going to hurt you. I won't let it happen." Sauli answered. 

     Adam just nodded and they slipped into a silence. Minutes passed and Sauli suddenly smiled to himself. He let go of Adam's hand, walking out of the bathroom without a word. Adam followed him, curious. Sauli went into the kitchen, unplugged the radio from its socket, and went outside with Adam on his heels.

     “What are you doing?” He asked him. Sauli didn’t answer; he just smiled. He set it down on the patio table and plugged it in. He turned it on and the slow, calm sound of a guitar started playing. Sauli looked back at Adam.

      “We didn't finish that dance.” He said, extending his hand.

    Adam raised his eyebrows. "Here?"

    "Why not?"

     "It's the middle of the night; I can barely see you."

    Sauli took a deliberate step forward and caught Adam's waist before he could back away from him and into the house. "You don't need to see me. Just feel where I am. Finish our dance."

     "That dance was ten years ago."

     "And we never finished it. Now hush. Do you hear that?" He asked. Adam raised an eyebrow when he heard nothing but the sound of cicadas chirping in the trees, and the guitar.

     "Hear what?"

    Sauli slid his right hand across Adam's forehead, brushing the dark strands from his eyes. He cradled Adam's hand against his chest and swayed them from side to side. "The music."

     Adam's eyes danced, although they couldn't see each other. "Of course I hear it.”

    "Slow guitar." With one finger Sauli tapped the beat into the small of Adam's back. "Acoustic guitar."Adam finally relaxed, fitting perfectly into Sauli's body. In the crisp, cold March air, they swayed together, moving to their own personal beat.

    For one moment, they escaped hell. No Jace, no nightmares—just the two of them, dancing. The song ended, Sauli’s finger stopped tapping the beat, and they ceased swaying from side to side. Adam held perfectly still, keeping his hand in Sauli's, his head resting on his shoulder. Adam was always so vulnerable when he got like this.

     Soft spoken and warm.

    Sauli eased his hand to Adam's chin, lifting his face toward him. His thumb caressed Adam's warm, smooth cheek. A ghost of that shy smile graced Adam's lips as Sauli tilted his head closer to him. Sauli kissed his lips. Soft, full, warm—everything he remembered, like they used to be. 

      Adam leaned his forehead against Sauli's, closing his eyes. "It's almost morning." He murmured against Sauli's lips. 

     "Are you tired?"

     Adam shook his head. "No. Are you?" 

       Sauli smiled. "No." 

     "Then watch the sunrise with me."

    Grabbing the ladder from the side of the house, Adam waited until Sauli was safely on the roof before climbing up himself. They sat close to the edge so their legs could dangle off. "I never noticed how high up we were." Sauli murmured. He was right. 

     The first orange hued rays of sunrise were just beginning. It started very subtle, as if it were afraid to rise. Bit by bit, it covered the pearl morning haze with a pale, pure white light, kissing the still dust laden rubble with the same soft rays that brought warmth to a new day.

      And at that moment, as the colors melted so perfectly, the past few months seemed to disappear, and all the bitter moments of those bad times Sauli and Adam had been through, washed away with the soft lullaby of the wind that graced through their hair and kissed their skin.

     Maybe it can kiss their sins away with it.

    The mountain lay in the distance like a perfect photograph; from the roof it even looked two dimensional. Sauli leaned his head on Adam's shoulder, closing his eyes. Adam leaned down, pressing a soft kiss against Sauli's temple. 

     The sun had completely risen by now, and it's bright orange rays warmed Adam's face. They're free for now. Not safe. Never safe. They were never safe unless they were next to each other. Hand in hand. They could never hide from anything alone. One needed the other in order to become themselves. They could only escape from everything when they were together. 

     And so,

     they did. 


	18. Eighteen

           Kaitlyn visited them the next day. It was mid-afternoon, and Adam was still asleep. Their hushed, Finnish conversation in the kitchen only increased Sauli’s anxiety. Once again, Kaitlyn had brought terrible news. His slender fingers pressed into the skin of his forearms, teeth sinking into his lips, drawing beads of blood.

     His whole body shook, bones rattling in the constant fear of the future that loomed before him. Heart pounding so hard against his ribcage as his pulse pressed outward, jerking the veins within. Kaitlyn spoke calmly, one hand gripping Sauli’s with her own, the other by her side.

         Her tone is urgent yet firm, explaining the new events. Adam arrives unannounced into the kitchen and Kaitlyn’s mouth clamps shut. Her fingers severely tangle in her messy, raven black ringlets of curls that lapped and devoured her hands like a nest of black mambas.

     At the sight of Kaitlyn, immediately Adam can tell something is wrong. He momentarily debates on whether he wants to hear it or not, then decides not to. There is a distance in his eyes as he takes a few steps backwards, bumping into the kitchen counter like he wasn't expecting it. His head rolls with the impact, eyes glazed.

       He nods once towards Kaitlyn, then walks out of the room. Sauli watches him go. And not a _goddamn_ minute later is Adam is moving about the room like there's a hurricane inside him. He's moving like his brain is demanding the energetic expenditure of an athlete but won't tell his limbs what to do.

      He has a look in his eyes that Sauli has seen before, but not on him, or on any person for that matter. It doesn't belong on his face and it scares Sauli. He's the one who always knows what to do. When Sauli makes Adam sit, he starts rocking, rocking, and rocking. He gets faster and faster until he explodes into motion again.

        Suddenly he's talking. Talking like he doesn't have enough time to say what he needs to. His words are crowded together and some are missing. His sentences are fragmented and his thoughts seem to jump from one thing to another.

     All his fears are tumbling out unchecked by his brain, he's in some kind of mental free-fall, unable to analyze things or assess risk. Sauli’s words are bouncing off Adam like they were hard rain.

      Then he’s cursing, spewing profanity, random phrases, completely driving him to the edge of madness. He’s trembling, his fingers are flexing into fists, and his pupils contract to pinpoints.  Then he’s in Sauli’s face, pleading for him to make it stop.

   "Auta häntä!" Kaitlyn barked at Sauli. 

   "He's—" Sauli was cut off by the animalistic noise that ripped through Adam's throat. He wasn't exactly crying, but he wasn't really held together either. A surge of anger rushed through Sauli. Adam was always a vulnerable man.

    Always sensitive to hurtful words, violence, and just about anything else. It's rare he will ever show it. Now, a sense of anguish had taken over his heart, more so than pain. It angers Sauli that somebody could have that much power over someone as beautiful as Adam. 

      He didn't even know what Sauli and Kaitlyn were talking about; just the very thought of bad news, most likely something that delt with Jace brought tears to Adam's eyes. They couldn't even get away, practically on the outskirts of Los Angeles, and they were still being hunted. 

  They would always be hunted. 

     Adam gasped sharply for air after the attack. The first breath after a panic attack is always important. Just like the click of the trigger on a gun. Or the first snowfall in 2 years. The first is the most important. 

   ***

     Some time later, Adam passed out from exhaustion. Even in his sleep, he was still disturbed. Unending nightmares, or unwarning panic attacks.

   While asleep, the grip on Sauli's hand never loosened. While Adam slept, Kaitlyn quietly told Sauli the rest. Apparently, Jace turned himself in. Only two things wrong with that. 

 

     1. Jace willingly went to prison. 

 

     2. Jace _willingly_ went to prison. 

 

   This is part of his strategy. Most likely, he went to prison to "ease" everyone's minds when in reality, it just made everyone more alert. What _pimp_ goes to jail willingly?

     And Adam still doesn't know. 

        "You know, shit is going to hit the ceiling when he finds out." Kaitlyn murmured.

        Sauli nods. "I know."

 Yes, Jace definitely has a plan. But for now, Adam was still safe in Sauli's arms. For now. 

 

 ******

 

     Sauli opened his eyes to darkness. He didn't remember falling asleep. Adam was awake, still laying across Sauli's legs, staring at their still intertwined hands. "How are you feeling?" Sauli asked, touching the small of Adam's back. 

  "Tell me the news." Was his reply.

  Sauli decided to be blunt. Adam handled everything better when someone is honest.

     "Jace is in prison."

   Adam's entire body tenses. "I'm going to faint." And he knew the consequences as well. Now that Adam was unconscious for the second time, Sauli draped a blanket over him and ended up sitting outside.

     Kaitlyn had rented a car for them, in case an emergency happened. It had rained the past two nights,  so Sauli hasn't had the time to sit outside. It was quite humid outside of April, but nobody could see them from here. The nearest house was at least 34 miles away from here.

     He crouched down, studying the trees from a different angle. It was nice to be out of the house, even if it was only 3 feet. Sauli caught movement from the corner of his eye and he crouched down to watch the butterfly skirt across the pavement.

        "Hi there."

     His head snapped up. He froze, still crouched down. "Is this a bad time?" The voice spoke again, and Sauli's eyes darted wildly to figure out where it was coming from. He's been sitting there for several minutes; Sauli can tell. He saw him as a brownish blur to the left, registered the shift as he crossed and uncrossed his legs.

    "Who are you?" Sauli questioned, rising.

   "A friend." The man answered. Then he looked away, casually leaning against the fence. "Odd place to be living in. There's so much to see in California. Why live up here, in the middle of nowhere?"

        "I like the quiet." Sauli answered. "How did you find this place?"

     The stranger shrugged. "I was taking a hike and stumbled here."

     "In _jeans_? You couldn't have just stumbled upon this place; you had to have _looked_ for it. And not to mention, it's hell to get up here. Most people give up before halfway."

  "Then call me hell-bent." The man chuckled. "I like a challenge once in a while." He takes another step forward, closing in.The man is a charm to be sure. He has the right twinkle in his eyes and a voice that is more warm than sunlight on amber.

     Sauli usually likes that—smiling back and enjoying an exchange of words—yet this one has that air of power, of total confidence. He backs away; this man is  _creepy_. But he could tell Sauli that up was down and he'd follow him just to hear more of his sweet words.

      There's something in the way he looks at Sauli too, like he's doing so much more than just taking in his form like others do. In that way his own face starts to look like a mask, controlled in order to have a particular effect on Sauli.

     The door is open and somehow Adam is standing next to Sauli, looking irritated, one hand on the small of Sauli's back. "Alright, you've met us." His voice is cool and even.  Adam is sized up in one glance, and the man's smile returns, sending an awful feeling in Sauli's stomach.

      "Ciao _amore_." The man nods at him in acknowledgment. Adam's face is blank, and by the way the man chillingly stares right back at him makes Sauli lean into Adam's touch.

      The negative tension was building. The man bares his teeth at Adam in another grin, more like a _smirk_ , and he finally turned away. He walked with ease down the slope, whistling the tune of Three Blind Mice.

    That man is all shades of creepy. Sauli shivered. "Who was that?" Adam asked, not turning around. 

 "I don't know. He claimed to be hiking and accidentally found the house, but I've never seen him before. Do you think it has something to do with Jace? One of his recruiters?"

      Just by the way Adam's hand tightens around Sauli’s, Sauli could tell Adam was wondering the same thing. "Come on." He answered after a moment, watching the man disappear in the tree line. Sauli lets him pull him into the house.

      The man is long gone by now, but Sauli still can't shake off that weird feeling. He decides to call Kaitlyn, who rushed over as soon as she could. When Sauli is finished telling her the story, both are in a frenzied state, leaving Adam as the only stable person in the house.

  *****

 

      "We need to get you two out of here as fast as possible. If we leave now, we can possibly make it to Indiana by nightfall. We're in the outskirts, so we have a chance." Kaitlyn was running around, grabbing everything she could find and stuffing it into bags. "It might be nothing but we can't risk our chances."

     "Hold on," Adam said. "We need to think this through before we act on impulse."

       "Are you insane? What do you suggest we do, sit down and wait for someone to burst through the door?" Kaitlyn answers. "That man is suspicious."

    "I agree, but we can't drop everything and leave. This is our only safe house. Even if we make it to Indiana, what happens next? We can't keep running." The lights flickered once.

      Twice.

   And again.

   Something scratches against the wall. "What is that?" Sauli whispered.

      "I don't know." Kaitlyn answers. The lights continue to flicker until everything shuts off.

       "Shit."

      "Was it a power outage?" Kaitlyn asks.

   "No." Adam is alert.

     "Then what else could it be?"

   A horrific thought comes to Adam. "A distraction." The realization hits as the front door opens.


	19. Nineteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ya'll might shit your pants a little.

     They didn't just have to hide from the people, they had to hide from the _dogs_ too. With a five second delay, all three were in separate rooms, hiding. Adam's heart is beginning to race and it's either a panic attack or a heart attack forming. Regardless he cannot allow either—there simply wasn't any time for it. 

   Heavy footsteps approach each room. Adam can only count 3 pairs, but there has to be more. He forces himself to breathe normally and focus. In his head, he runs through a few scenarios.  Running could be dangerous, depending on how many guns are in the house. They can't outrun a bullet. Staying here would not be an option for long. They didn't know the house that well, not to mention in the dark..

     Quietly, Adam moved away from his hiding spot to the opposite wall. One of the intruders spotted the movement and lifted his gun. He didn't shoot however, because he didn't exactly know what he saw. The intruder's face was hidden behind a white colored mask, the lips of it curling into a blood red smile. Adam would have no mercy while he killed these men.

   Not tonight.

   The men split up quickly when a loud bang fired from the room opposite from Adam's. Feet scuffled against the hardwood floors and two men followed the noise, the dogs barking. Adam grabbed the opportunity to sneak up on the remaining men. The men hesitated when he caught sight of Adam's features etched in his face.  What an odd time to be admiring someone’s beauty.

     By the way they don't rush at Adam; he knows either the men will give a wide berth or go completely ape shit until they're all dead or running away. All they see is a man with one blade. One flick of his hand and the first man step forwards. Adam is massively outnumbered. Nevertheless, before the man takes another step, Adam has him bleeding out on the wooden floors.

     The other man opted to charge at him, which gave Adam the opportunity to slam the man into the window, glass shattering and flying into Adam’s hair. The intruder slumped to the ground, either dead or unconscious. Adam wasn’t quite sure, but he wasn’t going to stick around to find out.

     Instead, he grabbed the intruders’ guns. In that moment the quiet had become rather deafening. Adam stopped, ears straining. The house isn't supposed to be this quiet.

    He turned around; eyes taking in every detail, seeing things he'd never had the call to notice before. Then fifty rifle shots broke the stillness and Adam was moving again. His brain is racing for ways out.

     The number of intruders was still unknown, and whether not Jace were one of them was another issue. Adam wanted him dead regardless if he had anything to do with this or not. It’s not often you find a handful of intruders with guns in your house shooting at you.

     Adam turns a corner, breathing lightly with steps even _lighter_. Often, the sound of guns fired. There must have been eight well armed assailants at the very least. He glanced behind him, checking to make sure no one was following him.

    It’s possible the intruders didn't even know Sauli and Kaitlyn were in the house. If that’s the case, Adam might be able to deal with the men himself—unless Sauli and Kaitlyn had died already—then all bets were off. If anything happened to either one of them—

    “Adam!”

     He froze, ears strained, whipping his head towards the caller. He caught a glimpse of Kaitlyn’s shirt before she disappeared around the corner. Adam moved to follow her, still alert for dogs and the assassins. When he caught up to her, the front door was open and they turned the corner and ran down the streetlamp lit avenue.

    The assassins would eventually realize they had escaped, if they haven’t already, and they would be visible if they kept running. Adam noticed that Sauli was ahead of Kaitlyn by a few feet, two guns slung across his shoulders. Their feet skirted down a steep slope, and they did everything they could to slow their fall.

    With each footfall a jarring pain shoots ankle to knee.Their hearts beats frantically, this is all or nothing.Their advantage is they’ve only been staying her for three days, yet they still know this estate better than those assassins do, those men are just pretty little boys in uniform and masks.

     If they want Adam they'll have to find him. Unfortunately for them, they're weighed down with guns, useless unless they get a clear shot, which they won't. Adam, Sauli and Kaitlyn are moving too quickly, dodging, ducking and leaping for the men to even get in range.

     Adam can hear Kaitlyn panting beside him, yet he’s breathing just as hard. The first neighborhood house ranges into sight, and the backyard fence had a rectangular indent. Sauli immediately darts into it, pulling Kaitlyn and Adam into it. There they stood, hearts in their mouths, as still as statues for what seemed like an hour.

    The men had caught up at this point, but they lost track of the 3. They split up, searching the streets and banging on front doors on houses. “We can’t stay here long,” Sauli whispered. “They’ll find us.”

     Adam is beginning to answer when two shots fired into the sky. Their eyes widen in confusion, and the three glance at each other. Kaitlyn slowly peeks out from the fence. “It’s Jace. He’s standing on a car with a gun. There are at least twelve men standing with him. And they all have guns.”

    “We have four.” Sauli murmured. “But we’re widely outnumbered. How good of a shot are you?”

     “I can take four out with two bullets. At a time like this, it’ll be rare that I miss.”

    Sauli nodded.

    “Oh shit.” Kaitlyn murmured. “The residents are seeing what the commotion is.”

    “You’ll have to warn them to stay inside before they get killed. We can’t afford any innocent blood spilled.”

   “…Sauli?” Kaitlyn’s voice is timid. Both Adam and Sauli turn to look at her. “What?”

     She didn’t answer. Her gaze is focused on whatever is behind the fence. “Oh my fuck. Fucking hell…” She whispered. Sauli and Adam move around her to look, and both wish they hadn’t.

   Standing on a car with at least three guns, is Leila Lambert.  


End file.
